Everyday is my Gift to Myself

“All this just by meditating”

I had so much fun participating in the “Healing your Life” residential program and meeting all the other brave, wonderful participants who helped me so much. Thanks everyone for the laughs, tears and encouragement! It has had a profound life changing effect on me!!!

I wake up smiling every day! I’m shocked! Now my daily ritual, after a sound nights sleep is meditate rather than medicate followed by the occasional ”CTMS”.  I’m really surprised by how it has worked for me.

My involvement with the Quest for Life Foundation, meditation and a desire to live life to the fullest, has led me to eliminate my sleeping pills, anti-depressants and sedatives. I don’t take anything and plan to keep myself this way!

My attitude is; “Everyday is my gift to myself so live life to the fullest!”

I also now realise that drugs simply mask the behaviour but meditation helps mould the behaviour without the side effects.

Also, Petrea King’s philosophy on life just makes so much sense and has empowered me to make the big changes that I wanted. I give myself regular top ups of her wisdom via the podcasts on the website with the discussion on spirituality being the most profound for me.

I’ve handed Quest for Life brochures to my GP and psychiatrist. My doctor who I have been seeing for over twenty years commented “All this, just by meditating!”

Thank you Petrea and the team at Quest for Life. My challenge now is to maintain my new lifestyle and enjoy!

With love and loads of rainbows,

Yvonne xxx

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Follow Your Dream

Live Your Dream

How often have we followed our ‘dreams’?

Too often lack of time, lack of finances, so many responsibilities, etc stop us from taking the steps to achieving our dreams.  Is there something that you have always wanted to do?  What stops you?  Is that realistic, or is there a fear of actually having/achieving what you want?

There is a little book in my library called “Living Juicy. Daily Morsels for your Creative Soul.” By Sark

I love what she has to say about dreaming.

“Dream on …

Each of us has a dream – at least one!  Not living that dream ever, can be an unfulfilled path.  What could be better about being human than living our dreams?

My father didn’t exactly understand my creative spirit while I was growing up, and would sometimes sarcastically say to me, ‘dream on, kid’ about various ideas and plans I would talk about.  Well, I took it literally, and I did keep on dreaming…

Let dreams surround you …

Move to Alaska; Be a Mom; Be a Painter; Change the School System; Invent a new Ice-cream; Publish stuff …….”

What is your dream? Share it! Give it wings!

Shared by Alexia Miall

Alexia Miall

Alexia’s career began in banking and then moved via advertising to a major career change in 1980 to Adult and Transformational Education.  She has been privileged to share this incredible journey with 1000’s of like minded souls through her extensive experience as a facilitator, trainer, life coach, therapist, and mentor.  She managed her own training company in Victoria during the 1990’s, and during this time was the Course Leader for a training program from which the Banksia Environmental Foundation formed.

Alexia has acquired further education in Adult Education in Training; Somatic Psychotherapy; Life Coaching; Conflict Resolution; plus Accreditation in many behavioural and culture change models. She is an Associate of EcoSTEPS, a niche Sustainability consultancy, which supports her love of the natural environment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Relieving Stress

Relieving Stress

When it comes to high-level stress, people fall into two groups – the A’s and the B’s. A’s are adrenaline junkies who feel alive in the midst of crisis-ville. They live life on the edge, with days packed with deadlines and dead bodies (depending on the job).  B’s on the other hand, crave a quiet life – order and routine are a priority.  Seldom seen together, A’s spend their weekend bungy-jumping and white-water rafting, whereas B’s prefer to roast a leg of lamb and watch re-runs of The Bill on a Saturday night.

A true Type A thrives on activity.  The best way for an A to chill out is to walk the Kokoda track.  It’s B’s who need support.  B’s don’t fare well when stress takes them out of their comfort zone.  In fact they fall apart.   If you are a B and know a stressful time lies ahead, for example year-end budgets (although I am not implying all B’s are accountants the following routines will keep your body well, your mind sane and improve your work effectiveness.

Stress Busters

Exercise is important, even if you only do twenty minutes walking and some neck and back stretches. Try not to rely on caffeine or sugar to see you through as caffeine increases adrenaline, and added sugar creates havoc with blood sugar levels.  The last thing you need is a low sugar slump.  Eat three square meals a day, each with protein.  It’s particularly important to add protein to breakfast.  How does a herb omellete sound? Or perhaps some smoked salmon and avocado on toast. If you are in a rush, a banana smoothie with egg and frozen berries might be quicker.

Place a photo of a loved one (cat, dog, child, husband etc) on your desk or side table.  When you feel particularly anxious, look at the photo, take a breathinto your abdomen and as you breath out, remember that this stressful time will pass.  Supplements are helpful.  I am a fan of Kava.  This Polynesian herb works quickly to reducesymptoms of anxiety, allowing a buffer of sanity in stressful times.  Other herbs which are useful include Passionflower, Lemon Balm and Zizyphus. And finally, at the end of every stressful day have a long hot bath with two (clenched) fists of Epsom salts and 5 drops of lavender oil.

If you would like to learn more tools and strategies for relieving stress here are two events you may want to join us for:

Relieving Stress Thursday 9th May, 2013
A FREE webinar with Petrea King and Mim Beim
Click here for more information and to register

Relieving Stress Weekend – 18th and 19th May, 2013
Two 1 day workshops at the Quest for Life Centre.
Click here  for more information and to register

 

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Carers deserve to be happy too!

Who cares for you?

This blog was originally posted on The Happiness Institute website and has been reproduced with permission.

Do you look after someone with physical and/or psychological health problems? Does it impact on your happiness? If so, consider these statistics:

• According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, within any 12 month period approximately 20% of Australians are affected by depression and other common mental health disorders
• Similarly, approximately 20% of Australians experience chronic pain (defined as having pain every day for at least 3 months) at any one point in time
• More than 100,000 new diagnoses of cancer are made each year
• And these are just a few of the many “ailments” people experience!

What does this mean?

It means that even at a very rough estimate there are probably 4-5 million Australians, at any one point in time, experiencing a significant and ongoing physical or mental illness.

And all of these people have “significant others” or carers.

Why is this important? Because research indicates that approximately one third to one half of these carers suffer significant levels of psychosocial distress.

So in Australia alone there are probably about 2-3 million carers who’re struggling to care for themselves and to care for their loved ones.

And, I suggest, these people could significantly benefit from some help!

So today I bring you a few simple tips for taking care of yourself, if you’re one of these very important “significant others” so you can enjoy a better quality of life AND so you can care more effectively for your loved ones. Because you can’t help any one else if you can help yourself…

• Firstly, don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Remember, even if your primary goal is to love and care for another you need to remember that you can only do this if you’re relatively fit and healthy yourself
• Along the same lines, recognise that it’s normal and appropriate to experience a range of emotions, in relation to your situation, from anger and frustration to guild and sadness. Accept these feelings for what they are, try not to fight them, and don’t be hard on yourself for them being present
• Do all you can to stay (realisitically) optimistic and to maintain hope. Your attitude and emotions will impact on how well you can support your loved one and they’ll also impact on how well you feel yourself so it’s in everyone’s interest for you to try and focus on the positives, where and when they’re there, and to encourage all around you to do the same
• Reassure yourself that it’s OK to have some fun and pleasure at times; this will boost your mood and as already mentioned, allow you then to support your loved one more effectively and with more energy
• Understand that support and love are very important BUT oversupportive behaviours, such as doing everything for the other person, are not always ideal. That is, where and when possible try to help your significant other to do as much as they can for themselves so they continue, as best they can, to feel useful and compentent and so they don’t lose confidence and control over their lives
• Remember that there’s no one perfect way to support others; it depends on you and them and the context and more. So do your best to support in a way that’s best for you and them and as much as possible, support with and from your strengths

So, that’s the short version of a huge topic on which much as been written. What do you think? Do you support another and if so, do you have any thoughts on what’s most important? If so, we’d love to know what you think and we’d love, as always, for you to post your comments.

Professor Tim Sharp

Upcoming Webinar and Workshop: If you are interested in this topic, Petrea King and Prof Tim Sharp are co-hosting a free webinar and a follow up workshop. All of the details are on our website, if you would like further information.

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The Quest for Life

Fear melted and wonderful new connections formed

I have recently returned from our ‘Quest for Life’ residential program and my heart is so warmed by the transformation I witnessed on the faces and in the hearts of the beautiful people who attended.

Naturally, some people felt apprehensive at the start, but as they shared their lives and experiences with each other, the fear melted and wonderful new connections formed.
People from all walks of life grappled with the challenges of living with the diagnosis, treatment and ongoing physical, emotional and spiritual challenges of life during and after a body threatening illness.

I say ‘body-threatening’ on purpose because I truly believe that while the body may feel under threat, life itself is not and life cannot and does not die.

Maybe we are just ‘renting’ this body for a while so we can have a human experience? Maybe we are only ‘tenants’ and if you have ever been a tenant, you will know that one day you have to move on. Only trouble is that we move into our bodies and develop a deep sense of ‘me’ in ‘my’ body and our identification with ‘me’ in ‘my’ body can make it much harder to leave peacefully.

Of course, resisting leaving, say with treatment, can be entirely appropriate, especially if you have received your ‘eviction notice’ premature to your expectations but resisting leaving by denying your feelings, avoiding reality or isolating yourself might add more pain to an already challenging process.

However there is hope and there is potential for personal growth too. If you can find a way to use the ‘early eviction notice’ as a portal into what life is really about, you may discover what really matters to you and I hope this might your version of love and living fully today.

Maybe when you resist your death, your pain, your body, your feelings, your illness, your electricity bill, your conflicts, your lusts, your aging or whatever, you miss out on the fullness of life? The good news is that you can learn to live in the present, feeling it all and living it all, fully alive with all of life’s joy and sorrow but nonetheless buzzing with life.

And yes it can be scary. Of course it can feel terrifying but you can find fellow ‘tenants’ who have also been given ‘notice’ and like you are on their own personal quest for life and this can really help ease the burden.

Our bodies are all going to die. Your fears will be validated at Quest and will not be denied. They are very real and you need loving care and support to process them AND it is possible to change your perspective.

When you come to Quest for Life, you may learn how to approach life gently and with acceptance.

If you have been given an ‘early eviction notice’, then please make your way to a ‘Quest for Life’ program to help you make sense of what has happened, to ease your resistances and to learn how to suck the delicious juice out of life for as long as you can no matter what your situation. In this way you may live as best you can amidst the circumstances of this life right now, today and in this minute.

Profound thanks to my fellow ‘tenants’ from last week and much love and life to all for now. Margie

The next Quest for Life program is 5-9 December 2012. NSW health subsidies available

Please phone Suzanne on 1300 941 488 to book your place.

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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The Problem with Grief

Grief is an ongoing journey

Why does our society have such a problem with grief?

Following is a composite, fictional story about a fictional person based on many real experiences I have had as a psychotherapist working with clients over the years.

I had been working with Ruth for 5 months. She was working through the loss of her 8 year old daughter who had died of a brain tumour 6 months before. The devastating loss was compounded by the 2 years of trauma suffered as she supported her beloved child through the challenging treatment for cancer.

My approach was to validate Ruth’s feelings, her grief. To help Ruth normalise her sadness and to take all the time she needed to cry, rant, rage, sleep and generally process and come to terms with the loss of her precious child.

After 6 months, and unlike me, people around her began telling her it was time to ‘move on’ and ‘get back to work’. She was due to visit her GP for a check-up and when asked how she was feeling, she naturally expressed her sadness to her doctor.

Her GP told her that she was ‘depressed’ and prescribed medication. She referred her to a new therapist and inferred that our therapy was not working due to the fact that Ruth still felt ‘upset’. She was concerned that this was ‘going on too long’. This was 6 months after the death of her daughter.

This is a common story for therapists who support the natural process of grief. While I always encourage people to change therapists if they are not receiving the support they need, I feel sad about the judgement that therapy is ‘not working’ if someone feels upset 6 months after a devastating loss.

I feel deeply concerned about the expectation for people to ‘get past it’ especially when they are in such a vulnerable state and may be looking to others for direction and support. Why are we, as a society, in such a hurry for grief to pass?

Medication can provide emotional support and is totally appropriate for some people undergoing such stress.  I am not judging that. My frustration is with our general inability to bear the deep sadness and our insistence that people ‘move on’ (as if they can!).

Unfortunately what generally happens is that grieving people act as though they have ‘moved on’ to placate and protect those around them who cannot bear their pain.

Can you imagine what happens physiologically when someone fights or ignores their natural impulse to cry? There is a huge cost to the body and this situation may lead to a deep sense of isolation and unsupported pain. This situation can even lead to PTS (post-traumatic stress) which can cause all sorts of problems down the track.

Some clients like Ruth return later and resume their work with me, some lose faith in the system and I imagine some do well with their second therapist. I only offer this story to illustrate the problem with grief that some corners of our culture have and I encourage you to think about how you can best support those around you who are living with loss…

Tips for dealing with grief-stricken people

• Cross the road to say hello even if you don’t know what to say
• Don’t take it personally if they seem distant and non-communicative
• Do ask “how are you?”
• Do ask if there is “anything you need?”
• Don’t expect them to attend social events for a while but keep inviting them anyway
• Stay quietly with them if they start to cry. You don’t need to fix anything

I’m sure there are many more and I invite you to please add your tips to this unfinished list…

Lots of love to all

Margie

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Trust your Heart

Jobs that find you

We are so very blessed at Quest for Life with amazing staff, who put their heart and soul into their jobs and make our organisation what it is: A safe place for people to land, when dealing with life’s greatest challenges. I am working today and enjoying the quiet while everyone else takes a break. And in pops an email from Suzanne, one of our most treasured staff members. And attached…..was this blog post. I thought it a fitting time of year to share……it’s all about following your heart!

_________________________________________________________

Exactly what you need will find you.

For me I was looking for a job.  I had applied for many jobs and found one and was due to start work.   THEN I had a call for an interview at The Quest for Life Foundation.   What is that saying a “bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”.   Well that saying went totally out of the window when I took action on a gut feeling.  I had accepted another job that I had no interest or connection with.  This is where it gets interesting.  I took a leap of faith.   I told the employer I was about to start with I had an interview I had to attend (which was the one at QFL) and passed up the job.   I had no reassurance I would even get to a 2^nd interview or even get the job, but I did.

I think now sometimes we really have to listen to ourselves when something is not right for us – we feel it, whether it is tightness in the chest, shoulders or clenched teeth.  Quite often we settle for second best and pretend it is going to be ok.   But the magic lies when we take a leap of faith, just with the knowing there is a chance we will find greatness.  If you are still and you listen to your heart you will find what you need.

After starting work at Quest months and months later I found a list of my perfect job –  to be able to juggle it with family life, I will enjoy, I have the skills, I will be appreciated and actually hold meaning  in the role.

Guess what? My job at Quest ticks all those boxes.   I am thankful I listened to my heart and took that leap of faith and not just settled.

_________________________________________________________

Thank you Suzanne for your reflections. Now go back to being on holidays! x

Have you ever had a job that found you? We’d love to hear about it.

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Peace: A Message from Petrea King

Peace Becomes Possible

Crisis in our personal life is often the catalyst for major uplifting transformation. For the past 27 years I (and others in our organisation) have been working with people living with a personal crisis – cancer, HIV/AIDS, grief, loss, trauma, depression, anxiety, violence and abuse.

When individuals realize that we can’t always change what happens to us, but we can change our response to the events, challenges and traumas in our lives, peace becomes possible. Too often people settle for mediocrity until the stimulus of deep suffering creates an opportunity for new choices, creative responses and inspired change in our lives.

It would seem that collectively – globally – we are creating this shared possibility of a new future as environmental collapse, climate change, over population, diminishing resources, political upheaval, economic collapse all contribute to increased personal, community, national and planetary suffering. It seems that this collaborative shift is happening through a combination of our yearning for evolution to a higher human expression of our conscious through the stimulus of our shared suffering. Peace is definitely possible.

We have witnessed the almighty capacities of the human spirit that refuses to be defined by the challenges we experience and instead evolves to a profound state of peace – the peace that passes all understanding. Of this we are all capable and it is a joy to be part of a community of people consciously evolving regardless of whether we are stimulated by suffering, insight or inner wisdom.

Thank you for your company.

Petrea King

Petrea King
N.D., D.R.M., D.B.M., Dip Cl. Hyp., I.Y.T.A.

Petrea King is a well-known author, inspirational speaker, counsellor and workshop leader. She has practiced many forms of meditation since the age of seventeen and she is also qualified as a naturopath, herbalist, hypnotherapist, yoga and meditation teacher.

In 1983 Petrea was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia and was not expected to live.  Meditation and the integration of past traumatic experiences became paramount in her recovery, much of which was spent in a monastery near Assisi in Italy.

Since then, Petrea has counselled individually or through residential programs more than 60,000 people living with life-challenging illnesses, grief, loss, trauma and tragedy. Petrea sees crisis as a catalyst for spiritual growth and understanding and as an opportunity for healing and peace.

Petrea has received the Advance Australia Award and the Centenary Medal for her contribution to the community. She has been nominated for Australian of the Year in each year since 2004.

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Self Care Matters

View from balcony at Kiama

Our facilitators have had a brilliant year out in community delivering the practical and caring teachings of Quest for Life, to a wide variety of groups. These programs, called Self Care Matters are about creating a more vibrantly peaceful  and health filled life.

We have delivered programs to both staff and clients and have met so many lovely people from organisations such as special needs schools, respite care centres, day spas, multi-cultural centres, women’s health centres, neighbourhood centres and many more… We have had the privilege of meeting amazing individuals living in very testing circumstances who are, in my mind, the everyday heroes and heroines of our world seeking a better life for themselves and their families.

Just this week, I presented a Self Care Matters program to a staff group from a parents support centre in Western Sydney as part of an end of year retreat for their hard working and very caring team. What a wonderful day! (These photos were taken with permission to publish.) The venue was the Kiama Surf Club which overhangs Kiama surf beach so the view was stunning and we got to relax to the sounds of the waves crashing rhythmically onto the most gorgeous and pristine beach all day. Sheer bliss. The group received the Quest for Life wisdom and strategies for living with enthusiasm and appreciation. I felt deeply moved by these beautiful women who spend their working days supporting parents living in traumatic and complex situations and often with English as a second language.

Our wonderful group

I’m sure all the Quest facilitators will join me in acknowledging the courage and honour we witness in the men and women with whom we work out in the community on our tailor made programs. It is certainly an honour for us to be with them and we look forward to working with many more organisations in 2012.

If you would like us to deliver a program to your staff or clients, please contact me at Margie@questforlife.com.au or call us on 1300 941 488 or visit our website.

Much love to all for now
Margie

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Story of a Cup

For me a good cup of tea is an event

One of our staff at Quest for Life, Suzanne, recently shared this lovely story with all of us……and now we’d like to share it with you. What are the ‘cups’ in your life?

Story of a Cup

I just wanted to share a story of how brilliantly the universe works.

I was looking for a cup to have my Lady Grey tea in. For me a good cup of tea is an event; it is a time where I can live in the moment and breathe, so the cup had to be perfect. I wanted a cup bigger than a cup, not as clumsy as a mug and the design had to be ‘me‘. I had been to so many shops looking for just the right cup and had given up!

My mother was in the P&C for a long time where our 19 year old went to primary school. My mother was out recently when she bumped into one of his old teachers who she has known for many years. The teacher said she had a present for my mother and gave it to her. My mother was surprised as they had never exchanged gifts and it was not her birthday for another few months. When she unwrapped it at home it was a china cup, bigger than a normal cup, had a quirky Cancerian woman and crab on it and proudly said Cancer. My mother said to me the other night that she has a cup that was given to her and she already has too many cups and would I like it.

When I saw it I knew it was what I had been looking for – I am a Cancerian, the artwork is quirky, the china cup is bigger than a normal cup to hold more Lady Grey tea and also has a motif of roses around the picture. My middle name is Rose, so I have a wonderful fondness for this flower.

I have just had the realisation because of the cup – there have been so many tailored things that have appear in our life – fitting us perfectly to a T. I have since made quite a long list of these things; some big like a house, job, car, family pet and others small like a cup. It is very empowering to think you really can manifest what you desire.

Sometimes you have to stop looking and trust it will appear!

Thank you for sharing Suzanne!

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