Everyday is my Gift to Myself

“All this just by meditating”

I had so much fun participating in the “Healing your Life” residential program and meeting all the other brave, wonderful participants who helped me so much. Thanks everyone for the laughs, tears and encouragement! It has had a profound life changing effect on me!!!

I wake up smiling every day! I’m shocked! Now my daily ritual, after a sound nights sleep is meditate rather than medicate followed by the occasional ”CTMS”.  I’m really surprised by how it has worked for me.

My involvement with the Quest for Life Foundation, meditation and a desire to live life to the fullest, has led me to eliminate my sleeping pills, anti-depressants and sedatives. I don’t take anything and plan to keep myself this way!

My attitude is; “Everyday is my gift to myself so live life to the fullest!”

I also now realise that drugs simply mask the behaviour but meditation helps mould the behaviour without the side effects.

Also, Petrea King’s philosophy on life just makes so much sense and has empowered me to make the big changes that I wanted. I give myself regular top ups of her wisdom via the podcasts on the website with the discussion on spirituality being the most profound for me.

I’ve handed Quest for Life brochures to my GP and psychiatrist. My doctor who I have been seeing for over twenty years commented “All this, just by meditating!”

Thank you Petrea and the team at Quest for Life. My challenge now is to maintain my new lifestyle and enjoy!

With love and loads of rainbows,

Yvonne xxx

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Holding and the display of love’s perfection

I love you = I allow you.

I recently came across this piece of wonderful, caring and compassionate writing and found it inspiring and a beautiful reminder to be kinder to ourselves and show ourselves a little more appreciation and loving kindness…   I hope you like it.

StJohn.

There is a deep need in all of us to be seen, to be confirmed, and to be validated by another. When our subjective experience is empathically held, contained, and fully allowed, we come to a natural place of rest. What is love, really, other than fully allowing the other to be who they are, and to presence and embrace their unique subjectivity? I love you = I allow you. The late Donald Winnicott, a brilliant psychoanalyst from Britain, used the term “holding environment” to express this notion. Through making actual contact with another– through receiving, affirming, and metabolizing their experience; and through offering an attuned space in which their experience can unfold– we become vehicles of love in action.

While not talked about as much, we can also hold ourselves in such an environment, where we allow ourselves to be what we are, where we offer ourselves full permission for our experience to reveal itself according to a unique blueprint which was crafted in the stars. In so doing, we allow any and all self-experience to be lovingly metabolized, and then used as grace-energy for love, kindness, and compassion. On some intuitive level, we all know that the degree to which we allow and love ourselves is the degree to which we can allow and love others, even those aspects of self and other which we find disturbing, unspiritual, and otherwise less-than-ideal.

For so many I speak with, there is an undercurrent of subtle aggression, self-hatred, unexamined shame, lack of acceptance, longed-for forgiveness, and absence of self-kindness toward self-experience. Let us all take a pause, and from a place of love visualize a holding environment for ourselves, where we grant ourselves permission to make intimate and direct contact with our vulnerabilities, with our unguarded and unprotected hearts, with our unprocessed challenges from the past, and with our less-than-awakened thoughts/ feelings/ and behaviors. We can take just one moment and appreciate the complexity and counter-instinctual nature of the waking up process and allow a deeply profound love and kindness to fill us, cell by cell. Let us be willing to no longer abandon ourselves, exiting into our stories and unkind judgments, and inquire with love into the habitual belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with us. Then, in an instant, we behold the flow of grace which pours through the eyes of everyone we meet, including that unknown precious one that we see when we look in the mirror. And then all that could possibly remain is an unshakeable faith in love’s perfection.

This blog has been republished from Matt Licata’s blog at
http://alovinghealingspace.blogspot.com.au

StJohn & Alexua Miall will be c0-facilitating the up-coming ‘Take a Stand for Life’ program at Quest in Bundanoon starting on March 4^th.    For more details about the program, click here.

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The Quest for Life

Fear melted and wonderful new connections formed

I have recently returned from our ‘Quest for Life’ residential program and my heart is so warmed by the transformation I witnessed on the faces and in the hearts of the beautiful people who attended.

Naturally, some people felt apprehensive at the start, but as they shared their lives and experiences with each other, the fear melted and wonderful new connections formed.
People from all walks of life grappled with the challenges of living with the diagnosis, treatment and ongoing physical, emotional and spiritual challenges of life during and after a body threatening illness.

I say ‘body-threatening’ on purpose because I truly believe that while the body may feel under threat, life itself is not and life cannot and does not die.

Maybe we are just ‘renting’ this body for a while so we can have a human experience? Maybe we are only ‘tenants’ and if you have ever been a tenant, you will know that one day you have to move on. Only trouble is that we move into our bodies and develop a deep sense of ‘me’ in ‘my’ body and our identification with ‘me’ in ‘my’ body can make it much harder to leave peacefully.

Of course, resisting leaving, say with treatment, can be entirely appropriate, especially if you have received your ‘eviction notice’ premature to your expectations but resisting leaving by denying your feelings, avoiding reality or isolating yourself might add more pain to an already challenging process.

However there is hope and there is potential for personal growth too. If you can find a way to use the ‘early eviction notice’ as a portal into what life is really about, you may discover what really matters to you and I hope this might your version of love and living fully today.

Maybe when you resist your death, your pain, your body, your feelings, your illness, your electricity bill, your conflicts, your lusts, your aging or whatever, you miss out on the fullness of life? The good news is that you can learn to live in the present, feeling it all and living it all, fully alive with all of life’s joy and sorrow but nonetheless buzzing with life.

And yes it can be scary. Of course it can feel terrifying but you can find fellow ‘tenants’ who have also been given ‘notice’ and like you are on their own personal quest for life and this can really help ease the burden.

Our bodies are all going to die. Your fears will be validated at Quest and will not be denied. They are very real and you need loving care and support to process them AND it is possible to change your perspective.

When you come to Quest for Life, you may learn how to approach life gently and with acceptance.

If you have been given an ‘early eviction notice’, then please make your way to a ‘Quest for Life’ program to help you make sense of what has happened, to ease your resistances and to learn how to suck the delicious juice out of life for as long as you can no matter what your situation. In this way you may live as best you can amidst the circumstances of this life right now, today and in this minute.

Profound thanks to my fellow ‘tenants’ from last week and much love and life to all for now. Margie

The next Quest for Life program is 5-9 December 2012. NSW health subsidies available

Please phone Suzanne on 1300 941 488 to book your place.

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Sue Inspiration

Sue Inspiration Compilation

This is a guest blog from our wonderful Program Co-ordinator, Suzanne. Thank you again Suzanne for your heartfelt wisdom.

My sister made me a compilation CD when I once broke up from a long-term relationship.  I found it the other day and listened to it.  It had been many, many years since I had heard it.  The theme was moving on from toxic relationships, strength, and independence.   My sister wrote on the CD the title “Sue Inspiration” in felt pen. Each of the 17 songs had been carefully chosen – for inspiration value.   Some of the songs included; Independent Women by Destiny’s Child, Beautiful by Christina Aquilera, Survivor by Destiny’s Child, Respect by Aretha Franklin, Don’t Worry Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin and various Pink tunes.

I remember those songs became my anthems as I rebuilt myself and healed.   I did not realise at the time what a small token of support can do for someone facing challenges.  That CD was such a gift of love and hope.  Listening to the songs you could not help but feel stronger and inspired.

It made me also reflect on how amazing humans are at supporting each other.  I then recalled many conversations I have had with people each day who are concerned for a mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter wife, husband, partner, uncle, aunt, grandchild, grandparent, cousin, work colleague, friend, etc.  They all call searching for information to share with their loved one in the hope there is an answer to help them move through their challenges; which could be illness, depression or some other trauma.   I have seen so many people join our programs because of a caring relative / friend, and their simple gesture to forward on an A4 flyer of information has ultimately changed so many people’s lives.

Can you remember a way you supported a friend or relative in their time of need?

Or what did a friend or relative do to support you to move forward?

 

 

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A Participant Post

Braidy flies high!

Braidy attended a Healing Your Life program at Quest for Life last year and just sent us this lovely email. With her permission, we wanted to share it with you so that you too can feel her joy and celebration:

I just wanted to take the time to write to you and all the amazing people at Quest to let you know how I’m getting along!

It’s been a year since I came in contact with you and I feel like I’m a new person!
What a hard journey it has been!

It’s felt like a roller coaster ride for me – BUT over the last month I have felt like I am finally able to enjoy life again!

My surgeons told me at Christmas time that they don’t want to operate because it’s too risky. So I have now put all my energy into visualisation and self-healing! Its been amazing so far, I feel like it’s already so much better!

I feel like I’m a different person to what I was pre operations, I’m so much stronger (physically and mentally) now. I am slowly gaining more confidence
and reconnecting with my body. I’ve been training 4 times a week down at the beach which is such an accomplishment for me!

To celebrate my happiness at the moment – I went trapezing yesterday, which was such a rush and I’m soo proud that I had the confidence in my body to
do that! (Ive attached a photo for you as proof ha ha).

I know my journey isn’t over yet – and it will be a looooonnnng road ahead, but Ive finally reached that place where I can truly say I am happy again!!!

I definitely could not have gotten this far without such amazing people in my life like you all! You all really came to my rescue when I hit rock bottom, and I mean rock rock bottom! and you were able to support, teach and guide me in the right direction. I can’t tell you how important it was to come to Quest and sit and talk and you would all listen without judgement. You always had a level of understanding that no one else had!

You’re all very special people and I know you touch a lot of other people’s lives, just like mine which is just incredible!
Sooo a HUGE thank you to you all! You are always in my heart and I live strongly not only for me but for all of you as well!

Lots of love to the Quest Family X
Braidy

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1 Million Kilo Challenge – Suzanne’s Update

Suzanne recently sent this to the team with an update!

It was January 21^st when I got the email about the 1 Million Kilo Challenge to lose weight and support a charity.   Well naturally my “how hard can it be?” attitude (that frequently sees me jumping in the deep end) enlisted me to raise money for Quest for Life.

That was fine, set up my page for fundraising etc.   Then the first moment of truth – how much do I actually weigh?   Let’s just say it was a lot more than I thought and reminded myself it is only a number and everything from here is for the better.

Still comfortable with my decision, sponsorship and donations came through to me, friends and family wanting to support my efforts and of course donate to Quest.   Now that hit me hard with the first donation.  I suddenly felt I really have to do something now.   I really have to be accountable.

I started with my weight on the top page of a notebook, and listed what I ate.  It made me accountable for the food I consume.  I also said to myself if I can do one 20 minute session of activity a day this would be a good start.   I work from home so it was easy to blow the dust off my Cardio Salsa DVD and exercise on a lunch break.   By the way I caught a sight of me doing cardio salsa in a reflection of a mirror at home; I never laughed so much in my life. (editors note: Suzanne wouldn’t give us a photo of this!)

I lost 3.6kg in the first week or so, I was feeling great.  Then life stepped in.  I found my self busier than ever with work, home, the children, and my course I am doing.   My regime fell by the wayside.   The food diary became quite vague; I missed exercise here and there.   I ate too much, and of the wrong food.  I basically put myself again at the bottom of the list.  I got to the point where I feared jumping on the scales.

I began to experience guilt, for all those people who had supported me and Quest for Life.  I remember on one occasion I actually stood up tall and sucked in my tummy when I was face to face with someone who had sponsored me.  Well that was the moment when it became apparent it would actually just be easier to exercise than live behind a false façade.

I jumped on the scales, no surprise I put back on 3.6kg.   I exercised at lunch, first day only 10 minutes.   I began to walk to the post office and to the local shops instead of car.   What I needed to change was the way I was looking at the long term goal – I had to break it down.   I began living in the moment and every choice I need to make I think about my health and well being.     When I am hungry – I have a choice what to eat.   I found myself actually putting the bread back in the wrapper and for a better option – a salmon salad.

It is my individual choices throughout the day that have allowed me to lose 4.3Kg and if you add the initial 3.6kg I lost (and regained) – that is 7.9kg.

Today I walked to get the Sunday papers, I wore my new trousers I had bought just before the challenge (a snug fit they were) and today they hang off my hips.  A wonderful feeling of achievement!!

What I learnt – the secret of making any change in your life can be linked to just making the right choices one at a time in direction to your goal.  The measure of your success is the sum total of all your choices.

If you would like to support any of the Team at Quest taking this Million Kilo Challenge;

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/ann_burns_5

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/suzanne_bastin

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/margie_braunstein

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/petrea_king

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Quest for Life on Channel 10 Weather

Tim Bailey explores the spa

On Monday night Network Ten’s resident weather man, Tim Bailey, did the weather cross from our great friends at Gillian Adams Salon and Spa. Gillian and her team are wonderful supporters of ours and are shared their support on air tonight. Gillian and her team graciously pampered some of our Quest participants, who had a wonderful day with hair, make up and spa treatments.

There is a photo gallery on Facebook and if you missed the live cross, you can see the video here.

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Flood Relief: Community Bounce Back Program

Community Bounce Back

Inidviduals and communities across Australia are still coming to terms with the 2011 natural disasters and some have been affected again in 2012.

Two well established and innovative not-for-profit organisations, Quest for Life Foundation (QFL) and Queensland Rural Regional and Remote Women’s Network (QRRRWN) have partnered to develop and deliver the “Community Bounce Back” program to assist these people in the months ahead.

Funded through the Tim Fairfax Family Foundation, a series of webinars, DVDs, a workbook and workshops have been developed to assist individuals and rural communities recovering from trauma.

The resources have been developed and are now being made available free online for individuals everywhere to access.

Georgie Somerset, President of QRRRWN says “We are excited to be able to share these resources with the wider community”.

“Trialling this pilot program in Queensland, and with workshops on the way in St George and Theodore, we know these resources can make a difference in people’s lives, and we are delighted to see the resources go online and spread far and wide.”

Susie Cameron, Business Development Manager for Quest for Life adds “We’re  proud to be able to provide these valuable no cost resources to individuals and communities across Australia”.

“The resources give people strategies to assist them in the process of recovering from the trauma of lost lives, property and livelihoods. They are for anyone recovering from traumatic events, grief, depression and anxiety.”

The resources available online include, three DVDs and a workbook. Quest for Life Founder Petrea King and facilitator Wendie Batho will be presenting workshops in Theodore and St George throughout March, April and May 2012.

For more information or to access resources online:

http://www.questforlife.com.au/trauma-recovery-program

http://www.qrwn.org.au/community-recovery.php

or contact QRRRWN on 1300 795 571 or Quest for Life on 02 4883 6599

MEDIA CONTACT

The Queensland Rural Regional and Remote Women’s Network (QRRRWN pronounced Q-REN) was established in 1993 to meet the needs of women in rural communities throughout the state. Since then it has grown into a progressive organisation running a series of programs in regional centres as well as being involved at a national and international level. The focus is on all rural women and their families, communities and enterprises.

QRRRWN – Media
Karen Brook – 0438 022 006
karen@qrwn.org.au

Quest for Life programs provide practical techniques and strategies, enabling participants, despite their circumstances, to feel more confident in their ability to meet whatever challenges they face.

Quest For Life – Media

Susie Cameron 0411 663 926

susie@questforlife.com.au

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Kicking the cat syndrome

What are the ‘cats’ that you want to kick?

At Quest for Life, we often speak about reaction versus response. I experienced a lovely lesson about this recently and thought I would share it with you because I imagine I am not the only one experiencing reactions.

If I am not facilitating on a workshop, I usually work from home. One day recently I was at my computer, feeling a bit like an octopus.

I had at least 8 things happening on my computer desktop– emails, online banking, website, documents, spread sheets, noises telling me emails were arriving, I was half way through responding to a comment on Facebook then the phone rang and I had a short chat to a colleague plus I had stuff on my actual desk that needed sorting.  A typical work scenario… Do you know the feeling?

In the middle of this busy, lovely and full work day, the computer started to make a little tick, tick, tick noise. If you are not familiar with computers, this is the sound of the computer doing something in the background. It could be a security check or archiving something or goodness knows what (I certainly don’t) but what I do know is that everything   slows…down.

On this day, I was running a bit behind time so I kept working and typing but there was a long delay before the letters appeared on the screen… I could not access the website… it was frozen… emails would not download… I updated a field in the spread sheet and it closed down inexplicably… my screen froze and finally… my computer closed down without warning!

I gasped. Oh no! This cannot be happening. No, no ,no. A cataclysmic volcanic eruption was going off in my head. I wondered “have I lost all my work?” And then before I knew it … I was in the middle of a full blown REACTION!

Catastrophic thoughts about lost work and lost time raced through my mind and I WANTED TO KICK THE  $%#&^!!  COMPUTER!!!! My heart was racing. I felt really ANXIOUS.

I hope you get the idea. It felt very stressful.

Somewhere amidst all the panic, I took a metaphoric step back followed by real deep breath. I became aware that I was experiencing a reaction and I remembered Petrea’s words about reactions…”a reaction is a re activation of a past feeling happening in the present moment”.

I realised I was feeling the same panic I felt when I was four years and got lost at the Easter Show – out of control, unsafe and slightly hysterical.

I asked myself a good question… “Given this is happening, what is the best response for me to make right now”? The answers came quickly. “STOP. WAIT. THINK. Do not kick the computer as this will not help. The adrenaline running through my system is not helping. Calm down Margie…”

And I did.

I’m happy to report that the computer eventually restarted and all was well. Documents were recovered. Unsent emails were auto saved in the draft box. I had 10 minutes to reflect on my reactions and learn once again that I do have control over my attitude, my body and my state of mind. I could breathe again…

I wonder what situations push your buttons and fire up reactions inside you? What are the ‘cats’ that you want to kick? I would love to hear…

In the meantime, I’m thinking of giving my computer a name. What do you think of the name… Kitty?

Love to you all for now

Margie

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Why Doctors Die Differently

Over the past twenty seven years I have counselled many doctors when they have a diagnosis of cancer or other life threatening illness. Our conversations have not been about whether to embark upon rigorous treatments but on how to resolve painful issues from the past, heal their relationships and improve their quality, and sometimes quantity, of life through utilising complementary therapies. This article highlights a common perspective from medical colleagues.

A Doctor on How Physicians Face the End of Life

Petrea King

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