Everyday is my Gift to Myself

“All this just by meditating”

I had so much fun participating in the “Healing your Life” residential program and meeting all the other brave, wonderful participants who helped me so much. Thanks everyone for the laughs, tears and encouragement! It has had a profound life changing effect on me!!!

I wake up smiling every day! I’m shocked! Now my daily ritual, after a sound nights sleep is meditate rather than medicate followed by the occasional ”CTMS”.  I’m really surprised by how it has worked for me.

My involvement with the Quest for Life Foundation, meditation and a desire to live life to the fullest, has led me to eliminate my sleeping pills, anti-depressants and sedatives. I don’t take anything and plan to keep myself this way!

My attitude is; “Everyday is my gift to myself so live life to the fullest!”

I also now realise that drugs simply mask the behaviour but meditation helps mould the behaviour without the side effects.

Also, Petrea King’s philosophy on life just makes so much sense and has empowered me to make the big changes that I wanted. I give myself regular top ups of her wisdom via the podcasts on the website with the discussion on spirituality being the most profound for me.

I’ve handed Quest for Life brochures to my GP and psychiatrist. My doctor who I have been seeing for over twenty years commented “All this, just by meditating!”

Thank you Petrea and the team at Quest for Life. My challenge now is to maintain my new lifestyle and enjoy!

With love and loads of rainbows,

Yvonne xxx

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Benefits of Meditation for Teenagers

Meditation as a life skill for our youth

I recently introduced my 13 year old daughter to Petrea King’s meditation CD.  Emma has a short term memory problem which has made learning very challenging for her. She’s a talented artist and singer but struggles with learning in a school environment. Over the years we have spent thousands of dollars on learning support – speech therapy, occupational therapy, kinesiology and more recently with counseling sessions with a child psychologist to help with her self-esteem. Both the primary and secondary schools she has attended have provided excellent learning support and have supported me, as her fiercely loyal advocate, with encouragement and advice along the way.

The greatest improvement and benefit however has come from her meditation sessions which she now initiates herself. She will head off to her bedroom after school, close the door and meditate to Petrea’s CD for 30 minutes. When she finishes her ability to articulate is so greatly enhanced that I am often left speechless. She is able to “slay” her brother at the dinner table with confident, insightful and humorous conversation that has previously evaded her. Meditation obviously clears her neural pathways to allow her memory to function normally. She is generally less anxious and has become more confident at school and in social situations since starting to meditate. She quickly recognized the considerable benefits gained from meditation and now considers it part of her life. She chooses when she wants to meditate which is generally three or four times per week. I can see it will eventually become a daily ritual for her which I know will support her well through the teenage challenges ahead.

No-one had ever suggested meditation as a support tool and it makes me wonder how this could benefit the hundreds of thousands of families out there dealing with learning difficulties and trying to navigate their way through a winding road, lurching from one solution to the next, often being confronted with issues of whether to medicate or not and being out of pocket thousands of dollars along the way.

So it has got me thinking about the broader benefits of meditation as a life skill for our youth. With so many issues impacting on our young people today, an increase in learning difficulties, a huge increase in youth mental health issues, eating disorders, body image issues, cyber bullying and the anxiety and stress they deal with preparing for their HSC. The fear of failure if they don’t get that high Atar score. If meditation was taught to our children as part of their PDHPE curriculum what impact would we see? A start to each school day that involves 30 minutes of meditation perhaps? Sounds like a worthwhile research project to me.

Vicki Miller
Guest blog

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Relieving Stress

Relieving Stress

When it comes to high-level stress, people fall into two groups – the A’s and the B’s. A’s are adrenaline junkies who feel alive in the midst of crisis-ville. They live life on the edge, with days packed with deadlines and dead bodies (depending on the job).  B’s on the other hand, crave a quiet life – order and routine are a priority.  Seldom seen together, A’s spend their weekend bungy-jumping and white-water rafting, whereas B’s prefer to roast a leg of lamb and watch re-runs of The Bill on a Saturday night.

A true Type A thrives on activity.  The best way for an A to chill out is to walk the Kokoda track.  It’s B’s who need support.  B’s don’t fare well when stress takes them out of their comfort zone.  In fact they fall apart.   If you are a B and know a stressful time lies ahead, for example year-end budgets (although I am not implying all B’s are accountants the following routines will keep your body well, your mind sane and improve your work effectiveness.

Stress Busters

Exercise is important, even if you only do twenty minutes walking and some neck and back stretches. Try not to rely on caffeine or sugar to see you through as caffeine increases adrenaline, and added sugar creates havoc with blood sugar levels.  The last thing you need is a low sugar slump.  Eat three square meals a day, each with protein.  It’s particularly important to add protein to breakfast.  How does a herb omellete sound? Or perhaps some smoked salmon and avocado on toast. If you are in a rush, a banana smoothie with egg and frozen berries might be quicker.

Place a photo of a loved one (cat, dog, child, husband etc) on your desk or side table.  When you feel particularly anxious, look at the photo, take a breathinto your abdomen and as you breath out, remember that this stressful time will pass.  Supplements are helpful.  I am a fan of Kava.  This Polynesian herb works quickly to reducesymptoms of anxiety, allowing a buffer of sanity in stressful times.  Other herbs which are useful include Passionflower, Lemon Balm and Zizyphus. And finally, at the end of every stressful day have a long hot bath with two (clenched) fists of Epsom salts and 5 drops of lavender oil.

If you would like to learn more tools and strategies for relieving stress here are two events you may want to join us for:

Relieving Stress Thursday 9th May, 2013
A FREE webinar with Petrea King and Mim Beim
Click here for more information and to register

Relieving Stress Weekend – 18th and 19th May, 2013
Two 1 day workshops at the Quest for Life Centre.
Click here  for more information and to register

 

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Janice’s story

Janice, Peter, Daniel and Kate Marshall

Janice kindly shared her courageous story as part of the Quest for Life Foundation Mothers Day Appeal. You can read the full letter here. Thank you Janice for sharing part of your journey with us.

I am the mother, and until recently, the main carer, for Daniel, my gorgeous 24 year old son who is autistic. Then 6 years ago, my husband (of 32 years) Pete, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. After the nearly 24 years of grief (for the son we had expected and never had) and the stress that  came from living with him and his bizarre throwing and destructive behaviours, the blow of Pete’s diagnosis hit us for six. We’ve always felt that the prolonged stress of Daniel contributed to Pete’s disease. It may well have also contributed to our daughter, Kate (23), suffering from anxiety over the years, including being seriously ill with anorexia at age 11.

I am however a ‘fixer’, and have spent many of the last years trying to ‘fix’ Daniel, Pete and Kate. The cumulative stress and anger over these years has taken a toll and I have burned out and felt totally useless. Although I am on the surface fit and well, the added grief of watching my wonderful, strong, fit and capable husband slowly decline has been almost more than I can bear.

But together, and despite the restrictions of conventional western medicine, we have never given up hope that Pete can be well again. He continues to ride his mountain bike and we have adjusted our already healthy diet and exercise program. Then we came to Quest for Life, which provided us with the missing link, a program which taught us how to harness the power of the mind and how to live a ‘weller’ life right now. It taught me to live in the ‘now’, which I found so difficult before, and to slow my overwrought nervous system to find peace. One of the toughest lessons for me was learning that I also deserve to look after me and ‘fluff me up’ and that ironically is what best helps Pete, Daniel and Kate! I am learning that I can’t control everything and that is OK and yet ironically, the more both    Peter and I meditate and slow down, the more in control we feel. We hope to incorporate what we have learned into Daniel’s confused world as well to help bring him to his own peace. For both of us, the program has been life-changing and we look forward to our future lives now with hope.

Janice Marshall

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Carers deserve to be happy too!

Who cares for you?

This blog was originally posted on The Happiness Institute website and has been reproduced with permission.

Do you look after someone with physical and/or psychological health problems? Does it impact on your happiness? If so, consider these statistics:

• According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, within any 12 month period approximately 20% of Australians are affected by depression and other common mental health disorders
• Similarly, approximately 20% of Australians experience chronic pain (defined as having pain every day for at least 3 months) at any one point in time
• More than 100,000 new diagnoses of cancer are made each year
• And these are just a few of the many “ailments” people experience!

What does this mean?

It means that even at a very rough estimate there are probably 4-5 million Australians, at any one point in time, experiencing a significant and ongoing physical or mental illness.

And all of these people have “significant others” or carers.

Why is this important? Because research indicates that approximately one third to one half of these carers suffer significant levels of psychosocial distress.

So in Australia alone there are probably about 2-3 million carers who’re struggling to care for themselves and to care for their loved ones.

And, I suggest, these people could significantly benefit from some help!

So today I bring you a few simple tips for taking care of yourself, if you’re one of these very important “significant others” so you can enjoy a better quality of life AND so you can care more effectively for your loved ones. Because you can’t help any one else if you can help yourself…

• Firstly, don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Remember, even if your primary goal is to love and care for another you need to remember that you can only do this if you’re relatively fit and healthy yourself
• Along the same lines, recognise that it’s normal and appropriate to experience a range of emotions, in relation to your situation, from anger and frustration to guild and sadness. Accept these feelings for what they are, try not to fight them, and don’t be hard on yourself for them being present
• Do all you can to stay (realisitically) optimistic and to maintain hope. Your attitude and emotions will impact on how well you can support your loved one and they’ll also impact on how well you feel yourself so it’s in everyone’s interest for you to try and focus on the positives, where and when they’re there, and to encourage all around you to do the same
• Reassure yourself that it’s OK to have some fun and pleasure at times; this will boost your mood and as already mentioned, allow you then to support your loved one more effectively and with more energy
• Understand that support and love are very important BUT oversupportive behaviours, such as doing everything for the other person, are not always ideal. That is, where and when possible try to help your significant other to do as much as they can for themselves so they continue, as best they can, to feel useful and compentent and so they don’t lose confidence and control over their lives
• Remember that there’s no one perfect way to support others; it depends on you and them and the context and more. So do your best to support in a way that’s best for you and them and as much as possible, support with and from your strengths

So, that’s the short version of a huge topic on which much as been written. What do you think? Do you support another and if so, do you have any thoughts on what’s most important? If so, we’d love to know what you think and we’d love, as always, for you to post your comments.

Professor Tim Sharp

Upcoming Webinar and Workshop: If you are interested in this topic, Petrea King and Prof Tim Sharp are co-hosting a free webinar and a follow up workshop. All of the details are on our website, if you would like further information.

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Tips for Surviving the Holidays

This time of year is generally a time of renewal and loving connection

Regardless of our cultural background and beliefs, this time of year is generally a time of renewal and loving connection and celebration with loved ones. Despite this, there are all sorts of reasons why this period can be a tricky time for many of us. We may not have partners, families or loved ones to spend time with over the holiday period or on Xmas day, and many of our usual activities are suspended. This can sometimes give rise to the surfacing of deep feelings of sadness, loneliness and disconnection. Some of us come from families that don’t always fit the picture perfact post card image, and conflicts and grievances can also be heightened at this time. Others of us may be grieving the loss of beloved ones or experiencing illness or ongoing ill-health or financial difficulty.

Whatever your circumstances, here are some suggestions to support yourself through the holiday period:

• Make a plan. Consciously decide what you will do on Xmas day and over the holidays. Do what feels right for you, not just what’s right for everyone else. If uncertain, talk it over with someone objective. Preferably, don’t just leave if to chance. We all have more choice than we might imagine.
• If you don’t belong to the perfect family, if other people aren’t behaving lovingly towards you, or if you are on your own, you can behave lovingly towards yourself! You can, on the inside, be your own much loved family or friend during this period. Do nice things for yourself, be kind to yourself.
• Make an effort to connect with people you care about and let them know that you care. We can all create loving families of choice, alongside our actual families of origin.
• Reach out and offer support to someone who may be having a difficult time over the holidays.
• If you find yourself in the presence of people whom you find difficult, attempt to stay conscious and connected to yourself, breathe, and decide not to take other people’s difficult emotions on board. I find it helpful to remind myself that we are all imperfect vessels of perfect love…(!)
• Attend to your own difficult emotions (talk to a friend, get out in nature, write in a journal, talk to a therapist, meditate…!!)

Whatever you do over the holidays, I wish you a peaceful, loving and fun holiday period. My love and warm wishes to you.

Lesley

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Looking for the silver lining in a night of Chaos

Searching for the silver lining

My headlight blew a bulb. On the way to the service station tonight to fix it I had a flat tyre, so I had to change my plans which meant I was staying in. I will have to get these resolved tomorrow.

So I concentrated on my next chore……I have a mobile phone, most of my friends and family will disagree, as it is always lost in the bottom of my bag, never answered, seldom recharged or no credit.

Today I decided to find my mobile, charge it and buy credit.

I logged on to the website. It kept telling me my password was wrong.  I tore the house apart looking for where I had written it.  Then I start with the online help for people who cannot remember a password.  After a very long time of answering security questions and still not getting them right I thankfully found a way to further navigate myself to contact a real human being.

Never the less, his system was slow, something about upgrades, he tried to sort me out but because my account was dormant for so long it was cancelled.  Oh well, I will also need to get a new sim tomorrow – it is a good thing I never wasted time remembering my old mobile phone number.

From this tale of stressful events, I stayed calm, surprisingly so.  At the end of the events – I asked myself; how did you stay so calm? I then thought all of this has to have a silver lining.  I then recalled the series of events and tried to make meaning of them.

It was a freezing cold night, and I really did not want to travel. Perhaps if I paid attention to having to fill the tyre more frequently it would have been apparent there was a nail in it sooner.

If I paid attention to my phone, kept it recharged, knew where it was and bothered to buy credit, the story would have never happened. When I went to the post office to recharge the credit I stared intently at the sim cards.  I told myself you do not need one, yet I was fixated at the time on them. Perhaps I need to listen more.

When I was trying to recharge my credit online and finding my password I had written down I kept looking everywhere but always looking back to shelf on my desk – where I ended up finding my password details. I could have listened to my intuition a lot earlier and not upturned the house.

My silver lining was how I felt – coming through all of it and not sweating the challenges. I felt kind of peaceful and empowered in some way because I was not reacting.  I realise I do not have the grace of the Dalai Lama but maybe I am growing and my intuition is always there trying to guide me.

We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves – Dalai Lama.

Suzanne Bastin

Suzanne is the program co-ordinator at Quest for Life. If you are interested in attending a program, Suzanne is only too happy to answer your questions or help you register on 1300 941 488

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Sue Inspiration

Sue Inspiration Compilation

This is a guest blog from our wonderful Program Co-ordinator, Suzanne. Thank you again Suzanne for your heartfelt wisdom.

My sister made me a compilation CD when I once broke up from a long-term relationship.  I found it the other day and listened to it.  It had been many, many years since I had heard it.  The theme was moving on from toxic relationships, strength, and independence.   My sister wrote on the CD the title “Sue Inspiration” in felt pen. Each of the 17 songs had been carefully chosen – for inspiration value.   Some of the songs included; Independent Women by Destiny’s Child, Beautiful by Christina Aquilera, Survivor by Destiny’s Child, Respect by Aretha Franklin, Don’t Worry Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin and various Pink tunes.

I remember those songs became my anthems as I rebuilt myself and healed.   I did not realise at the time what a small token of support can do for someone facing challenges.  That CD was such a gift of love and hope.  Listening to the songs you could not help but feel stronger and inspired.

It made me also reflect on how amazing humans are at supporting each other.  I then recalled many conversations I have had with people each day who are concerned for a mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter wife, husband, partner, uncle, aunt, grandchild, grandparent, cousin, work colleague, friend, etc.  They all call searching for information to share with their loved one in the hope there is an answer to help them move through their challenges; which could be illness, depression or some other trauma.   I have seen so many people join our programs because of a caring relative / friend, and their simple gesture to forward on an A4 flyer of information has ultimately changed so many people’s lives.

Can you remember a way you supported a friend or relative in their time of need?

Or what did a friend or relative do to support you to move forward?

 

 

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Eyes of Love or Eyes of Fear

For a few seconds the burro is free and even seems to laugh

I believe that you can live your life through the eyes of love or the eyes of fear. We in the western world are very good at living our lives through fear. Our politicians and financial markets are masters of engendering a sense of threat and of not having enough stuff. Just for a moment try to be grateful for what we have, and see the world through love and connection to others, not a feeling of threat. It feels so different, it feels better.

I just love this poem written by Meister Eckhart, one of history’s great mystics who lived in the 13^th century.

LOVE DOES THAT

All day long a little burro labors, sometimes

with heavy loads on her back and sometimes just with worries

about things that bother only

burros

and worries as we know, can be more exhausting

than physical labor

Once in a while a kind monk comes

to her stable and brings

a pear, but more

than that,

He looks into the burro’s eyes and touches her ears

and for a few seconds the burro is free

and even seems to laugh,

because love does

that.

Love frees

Do you feel better?

Dr Louella Crawford

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Healing Your Life

That changed my life – feeling love unconditionally.

When I started work at Quest for Life two years ago Petrea said “It would be good for you to sit in on the program”.   So I did. I remember thinking I will be good for me to ‘see what we do’.   I am a self confessed self-help junkie having listened to endless motivational tapes and cd’s, attending seminars and reading endless bookings for the last twenty years.   I really did not expect to get much out of the program other than to see ‘what we do’.

Boy was I wrong!!!   I started listening; the words were all resonating with me.  That’s when emotionally I erupted; it would seem that there were so many emotional issues I had forced down deep inside and not allowed myself to feel.  Sure I was motivated and obsessed with the success principles but my spirit was emotionally malnourished.   I had been on a two year rollercoaster after my dad passed away and I kept pushing the natural grief process away.  I never gave myself time to get over that, I just made myself busy.

That is all it took, the session on emotions and the permission to feel the way I felt, and the tears started to roll out, which even then I felt guilty and embarrassed for displaying. Somehow I continued to listen, hiding behind a tissue.

We had a tea break and a complete stranger walked up to me and said “I think you need a hug”.  That changed my life – feeling love unconditionally.

I came away from that day with some new values – all about me for a change.   I learnt how bad I was about looking after how I was; I seldom took time to do anything for myself.  I learnt about fluffing myself up and recognised people around me who did this were not selfish!   I learnt about my emotions, experiencing them and allowing them.   I learnt about communication, not only with myself but with others.   I turned a corner that day in relation to my dad’s death. I have new meaning for that now and can speak openly without feeling dark, but instead feel a love a connection with him.

So now when I sit at my desk answering calls from people in very challenging places, I honestly say to them, it is a very loving and nurturing place to move through any challenges.   The participants I have seen on the last day are filled with such a confidence and look of inner peace, it is like they have had an internal makeover. This still gives me Goosebumps when I think of the transformations. I still use all the practical tools I learnt and feel blessed for taking time to ‘see what we do’.

If you are interested in a program, I am on the other end of the phone to answer any questions you may have just phone 1300 941 488.

Suzanne x

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