The freedom of being in the surf waiting for the next wave
A childhood friend recently died peacefully, her son, daughter and brother were at her bedside. She had been suffering physically for more than a year, yet she remained strong mentally and emotionally during this time.
We met when I was 10 and she was 9, and have so many happy memories of growing up together. Summer holidays at her family holiday home in Bundeena, buying our first surfboards together and enjoying the freedom of being in the surf waiting for the next wave. Going through puberty and adolescence together, with many funny incidences from that time. First loves and first breakups shared.
When she married, had children and moved north, we did lose contact for a few years. However, when her children began University, we reconnected, staying in contact until today.
I farewell a friend who would always be there, who never judged, and had the kindest demeanour of anyone I have ever known.
RIP Sandra, we look forward to reconnecting when it is our turn, and you can show us where the ‘best waves are’.
I share a poem by Rumi, one of my favourite poets:
“you mustn’t be afraid of death
you’re a deathless soul
you can’t be kept in a dark grave
you’re filled with God’s glow
be happy with your beloved
you can’t find any better
the world will shimmer
because of the diamond you hold
when your heart is immersed
in this blissful love
you can easily endure
any bitter face around
in the absence of malice
there is nothing but
happiness and good times
don’t dwell in sorrow my friend”
Translated by Nader Khalili “Rumi, Fountain of Fire“ Cal-Earth Press, 1994
Alexia Miall
Alexia Miall
Alexia’s career began in banking and then moved via advertising to a major career change in 1980 to Adult and Transformational Education. She has been privileged to share this incredible journey with 1000’s of like minded souls through her extensive experience as a facilitator, trainer, life coach, therapist, and mentor. She managed her own training company in Victoria during the 1990’s, and during this time was the Course Leader for a training program from which the Banksia Environmental Foundation formed.
Alexia has acquired further education in Adult Education in Training; Somatic Psychotherapy; Life Coaching; Conflict Resolution; plus Accreditation in many behavioural and culture change models. She is an Associate of EcoSTEPS, a niche Sustainability consultancy, which supports her love of the natural environment.
Hi Alexia, I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your friend Sandra. How lovely to have a lifetime of memories to reflect upon. Rainbows and love to you and her.
I appreciated an observation made about death by the great philosopher Betty White (!!) on her 90th birthday. Her mother described it as being a secret, so now your special friend Sandra knows the secret, & can share it with you, as you shared secrets when small girls but now as graduates of lives well lived.
What a beautiful tribute and a touching poem this is. Childhood friends are so special – we can not make new ones. Thinking of you