I recently attended a 30 day gratitude challenge workshop with Toni Powell which was absolutely wonderful and inspiring. Many lights have switched on for me from that great day and the most exciting of all is in regard to my partner in life, David.
Toni was talking about the “opposite of gratitude” which turned out to be “complaint”. I am embarrassed to admit that it had never occurred to me before just how much and how often I complain about my husband and how much damage this probably does to our relationship.
I did it with my children, my friends, my colleagues, his friends, his colleagues, in my own head and basically anywhere and to anyone in my life. I would say “David is a good person… BUT…” and would go on to list all his failings.
Toni asked us to examine “why do you complain about this”? I realised that I complained about all the areas in which I think David ‘should’ have met my needs and I perceived that he did not. And there were many, many of these …
As a result of this insight, I have done some serious assessment about this issue and I have made 2 deep commitments to myself. They are:
- To never, ever bad mouth or bad think about my husband again
- To take full responsibility for my own needs
Lastly I would like to say that my husband, David, is an absolute angel on earth. He loves me and would do almost anything for me. He is an intellectual giant and no wonder he is referred to as ‘the oracle’ by his friends. He is my mate for life and I feel so grateful that I get to share my life with such a good man who I love very deeply. Thank you David for all you bring to my life…
There are things in life that we need to speak up about and not take lying down and then there are thoughts that become habits and need to be examined and adjusted if we want more peace and joy. Our challenge is to work out the difference.
I hope this gives you pause to think about your complaints and why you feel this way and maybe you could come up with some alternatives to these old habits that no longer work in your best interest. Also I hope you can find compassion and forgiveness for yourself along the way.
It is after all about gratitude rather than complaint (and that includes everyone including yourself).
Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney. Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.
Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.
Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.
Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.