Climb-it Change

Climb-It Change

Is it just me or does change seem frustratingly slow at times?

Whether it’s a journey up the mountain or a path to enlightenment … change can seem slow. I reckon, however, that some of the best change is really gentle and unhurried… it takes time.

Our impatience with change is usually about pain relief. Of course we want to relieve our suffering. That’s understandable, however trying to force ourselves to ‘get there’ can leave you on Petrea’s ‘I’ll be happy when trip’ where your happiness is constantly put off to a future time.

It begs the question… Can you find peace in the midst of a painful journey?

Some people see the mountain but it appears unreachable. On a bad day it all seems hopeless. “I’ll never make it” or “What’s the use” can wander across the mind. On a good day, they may still feel challenged but reach for skills they carry in their back pack to ease the gradient. Meditation, breathing, relationships, Quest for Life and liniment can all come in handy at times like this.

If you feel overwhelmed, you might also consider viewing life as a mountain range rather than one big unreachable peak and celebrating each small summit as you reach it.

A word of caution about  ‘mountaintop’ epiphanies which can seem swift when in actual fact you have spent a lifetime climbing up the mountain and the last step gets you to the ‘peak’ of awareness.  In the excitement of reaching the summit it is possible to forget what it took to get there.

Some people become attached to these kinds of ‘peak experiences’.  I once had a teacher who said to me “during meditation, you may reach the heights of bliss but this is only an accident… therefore one must become accident prone” (i.e. stay on the path and you may reach the peak, but the important thing is the path not the peak…)

I have become a great fan of the organic kind of change that happens slowly and by witnessing what is without forcing or pushing. What may emerge out of this awareness is a change so slow and imperceptible that you are not aware it has occurred until after it has happened.

On that day you notice something new and say to yourself… “Hey, I don’t do that anymore” or “oh wow, I would never had said that 5 years ago” or “I am so good”… Has that happened to you?

That’s the satisfying kind of change that takes months or years of walking, climbing and resting and then climbing some more. It’s about keeping your eyes on the path instead of constantly on the peak.  We need goals so it’s natural to envision the peak, however, isn’t it equally important to enjoy the walk?

There is a lovely quote from Gabriel Garcia Marquez which reads,  ‘I have learned that everybody wants to live at the top of the mountain without realizing that true happiness lies in the way it is climbed’…

Wishing you all happiness in your climb-it change …

Love Margie

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Today is the anniversary of my dad passing

My wonderful Dad

Quest for Life staff member, Suzanne recently wrote this piece and is happy for it to be shared with the Quest community. Thank you Suzanne for allowing us to share you’re beautiful reflections. I am sure they will touch the hearts of many.

Today is the anniversary of my dad passing. I will never forgive him for leaving me. He was my rock.

But I now at least understand that his body was giving out, which he tried to tell me over and over. I always wanted to make everything ok – and replied “only the good die young. You and I will be here forever”.

I realise now those were my wishes. But, he had emphysema. He was scared of losing his breath. He had some heart problems too. I was so close to my dad that I quite often woke in the middle of the night and could not breathe and venture out onto the veranda to try and get as much air into my lungs as I could. Once we both were diagnosed with the same diagnosis miles apart at the same time – for me, I knew it was not my illness and with that, my symptoms disappeared.

The blessing was he passed away at home, with no distress – a blessing for him, for me and all of us. Today is the anniversary of my dad passing. I am going to be kind to my self. I have slept in late. I let myself shed a tear before I got out of bed. Even though I feel his energy with me daily, I hear his words when I take a moment to gaze into his picture on the desk. I hear him saying, “your sister needs you – she is still not ok” (with him leaving) and, “you should be easier on your mother”.

The only thing I don’t have is the touch – I guess it is why I shed the tears. But also I celebrate today for having found and realised such a love that is so deep and true. My dad’s brother said the best complement to me I could ever hope to hear – after his eulogy was read that I had written – “You really knew your dad”. And I did.

My memories of my dad were always singing Frank Sinatra, listening to Benny Goodman, dancing on his feet and his constant whistling whilst he cooked breakfasts at the weekends. He loved reading and he was the smartest person I ever new. His work ethics were my role models – do it right or not at all. He was old school and buildings he built still stand today. He gave us a love of music, learning and taught us whatever we pursued do it with passion!

I am proud to be his daughter. I am still shedding a tear although as the years go on, it is not grief but gratitude for having a wonderful role model, friend and connection with another. My Dad left a diary of little passages and thoughts he collected over the years, painful to read at first after his death, but a wonderful recollection of who he was later on…some of his favourites…

I have travelled the world twice over.
Met the famous, saints and sinners, poets and artists, kings and queens old stars and hopeful beginners.
I’ve been where no-ones been before.
Learnt the secrets from writers and cooks.
All with my library card.
To the wonderful world of books.
– Janice James

The wisdom of the ages is there for you and me.
The wisdom of the ages is in your local library.
There are large print books and talking books for those who cannot see.
The wisdom of the ages, it’s fantastic and it’s free.
– Sam Wood aged 92

Do you celebrate the connection you had with someone who has passed?

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Self Care Matters

View from balcony at Kiama

Our facilitators have had a brilliant year out in community delivering the practical and caring teachings of Quest for Life, to a wide variety of groups. These programs, called Self Care Matters are about creating a more vibrantly peaceful  and health filled life.

We have delivered programs to both staff and clients and have met so many lovely people from organisations such as special needs schools, respite care centres, day spas, multi-cultural centres, women’s health centres, neighbourhood centres and many more… We have had the privilege of meeting amazing individuals living in very testing circumstances who are, in my mind, the everyday heroes and heroines of our world seeking a better life for themselves and their families.

Just this week, I presented a Self Care Matters program to a staff group from a parents support centre in Western Sydney as part of an end of year retreat for their hard working and very caring team. What a wonderful day! (These photos were taken with permission to publish.) The venue was the Kiama Surf Club which overhangs Kiama surf beach so the view was stunning and we got to relax to the sounds of the waves crashing rhythmically onto the most gorgeous and pristine beach all day. Sheer bliss. The group received the Quest for Life wisdom and strategies for living with enthusiasm and appreciation. I felt deeply moved by these beautiful women who spend their working days supporting parents living in traumatic and complex situations and often with English as a second language.

Our wonderful group

I’m sure all the Quest facilitators will join me in acknowledging the courage and honour we witness in the men and women with whom we work out in the community on our tailor made programs. It is certainly an honour for us to be with them and we look forward to working with many more organisations in 2012.

If you would like us to deliver a program to your staff or clients, please contact me at Margie@questforlife.com.au or call us on 1300 941 488 or visit our website.

Much love to all for now
Margie

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Coming to Quest

The Quest for Life Centre in Spring

I am just back from yet another inspiring week with the most wonderful people and it motivates me to jot down a few words about the courage people demonstrate when they come to a program…

It never ceases to amaze me on day one of a residential program just how much courage it must take for some people to make it all the way from the familiar surrounds of their home to the unfamiliar environs of the Quest for Life centre. It truly is a testament to the trust that people place in Petrea and the Quest for Life Foundation. Here is my perspective on what happens.

As people finish their cups of tea and coffee in the living room, they are warmly invited, by our support staff, to make their way into the group room whereupon they see a large circle of chairs with a table up the front with a big bunch of flowers from the garden.

People take their preferred chair.

There is tension in the air as complete strangers look tentatively around the room at the people with whom they have chosen to spend the next 5 days. The nerves are palpable. I am sure some people might be thinking… “Why am I here again?” as they plan their exit strategy and I’m sure some people must feel like turning on their heels and running in the opposite direction! Yet they don’t.

I realise that some participants rarely even leave their house and others are just more used to keeping their ‘ tender bits’ to themselves and this inspires me. Yet, these people travel by plane, train or automobile all the way to Bundanoon to sit in a room full of strangers when they are feeling at their most vulnerable and fragile. Wow… now that is impressive and BRAVE.

So here we all are. We on the support team have been here many times before and we hold this space tenderly. We know the plan for the week and have experienced the ice melting and people blossoming as they feel accepted and their vulnerabilities are supported with gentleness and care.

We trust the process that is about to unfold and we welcome each person with respect for what it takes to get here.

As the week progresses, we feel the relief as these brave people feel heard and cared for, as pain eases and comfort is provided. Some people will wrestle with demons and some people will make peace with the past.  Plus we know that there will be laughs as well as tears and there will be delicious and healthy food that just keeps coming!

By the end of the week, we know there will be warmth and comfort, laughter and acceptance as people from disparate walks of life show inspiring respect for each other and the team will leave tired but moved by the capacity people have for healing and love.

Well that is how I experience it… It would be great to hear from you about your experience of coming to Quest and I hope to see you there soon.

Lots of love

Margie

 

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