The Book that Changed my Life.

‘what is the book this week’ that has changed my life?

The book that changed my life… Is there one important book that changed your life? It is hard to choose one because I could really answer ‘what is the book this week’ that has changed my life? However, if I had to choose just one it would be: Gerald Jampolsky’s ‘Teach only Love’

From the moment I read the title, I thought to myself… “that resonates so deeply with me. I have to read that book!”

The twelve principals of attitudinal healing contained within this wonderful book capture, for me, the essence of my life purpose which is to teach love. For me, there really is no other lesson. Once this lesson is understood, everything else fits neatly into place like a jigsaw piece into a puzzle. To teach love one has to learn about love and this is not a lesson that ends with a certificate or degree. Rather it requires lifelong learning to both learn and to ‘teach only love’…

The Twelve Principles of Attitudinal Healing
1. The essence of being is love.
2. Health is inner peace.
3. Giving and receiving are the same.
4. We can let go of the past and the future.
5. Now is the only time there is.
6. We learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging.
7. We can become love-finders rather than faultfinders.
8. We can be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening outside.
9. We are students and teachers to each other.
10. We can focus on the whole of our lives rather than on the fragments.
11. Because love is eternal, death need not be viewed as fearful.
12. We can always see ourselves and others as extending love or giving a call for help.

Thank you Jerry for your wisdom and generosity… So what is the book that changed your life? Click here to learn more about Jerry’s work

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Nowness and Helping Others

The present moment is like a flowing river

Nowness is elusive in meditation practice.  You strive for that still point in the present moment, and it constantly slips out of your grasp.  The present moment is like a flowing river; you can dip your fingers into the water but cannot grasp hold of anything.

Bringing yourself into the present moment sounds very simple, but is difficult to accomplish.  We normally live life by projecting the mind forward into the future or reliving old events from the past.  Living in the present moment doesn’t entail excluding all thoughts of past and future, but necessitates recognising that they should be subservient to the present moment.

The ability to be in the present moment, without past prejudices, determines how far we truly empathise with others, and the real heart of helping others is to be able to accept their feelings and emotions without running away or imposing our own prejudices.  You just need to accept and acknowledge it.  When people feel that another person is completely present with them, it is a powerful tool for healing.

“The essence of meditation is nowness.  Whatever one tries to practice, is not aimed at achieving a higher state or at following some theory or idea, but simply, without any object or ambition, trying to see what is here and now.  One has to become aware of the present moment.”   Chogyam Trungpa  – The Meditation Year ~  Jane Hope

Alexia Miall

Alexia Miall

Alexia’s career began in banking and then moved via advertising to a major career change in 1980 to Adult and Transformational Education.  She has been privileged to share this incredible journey with 1000’s of like minded souls through her extensive experience as a facilitator, trainer, life coach, therapist, and mentor.  She managed her own training company in Victoria during the 1990’s, and during this time was the Course Leader for a training program from which the Banksia Environmental Foundation formed.

Alexia has acquired further education in Adult Education in Training; Somatic Psychotherapy; Life Coaching; Conflict Resolution; plus Accreditation in many behavioural and culture change models. She is an Associate of EcoSTEPS, a niche Sustainability consultancy, which supports her love of the natural environment.

 

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Andrew Cohen – What Does it Mean to be a Finder?

Quote Courtesy of EnlightenNext and Andrew Cohen

When we stop being a seeker and become a finder, we no longer have any doubt about who we really are and why we are here on Earth. In our own direct awakening to Spirit’s true face, existential doubt dies a sudden and irrevocable death, liberating an infectious confidence that is rooted deep within our souls. A true finder may or may not continue to engage in spiritual practice, but if he or she does, it is motivated only by the desire to continue to evolve for the sake of the evolutionary process itself. Indeed, in evolutionary spirituality, making the noble effort to catalyze our own individual and collective higher development is recognized to be the very raison d’être of human beings at the leading edge. And we can only begin to do this when we have given up seeking forever. Then and only then will we stop reaching for a spiritual epiphany to convince us of something. We instead make the effort to evolve because we are in love with life and are committed to unlocking its highest potentials through our own development. Those potentials will only come to the fore when we are no longer trying to become enlightened but have let go of any other option than to be the expression of the highest we have seen and experienced, in all our imperfection, right now. That’s what it means to be a finder.

continue to evolve for the sake of the evolutionary process itself

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The Rainbow Story: How the Rainbow Came to Be

Let us remember to appreciate one another

This Rainbow Story goes beautifully with the Quest for Life Rainbow Ritual. Share your children’s rainbow drawings in our special Rainbow Gallery section on the website and we’d love to hear your story of what rainbows mean to you, after reading this story.

Once upon a time the colours of the world started to quarrel: all claimed that they were the best, the most important, the most useful, the favourite.

Green said: “Clearly I am the most important. I am the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, leaves, trees–without me, all animals would die. Look out over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority.”

Blue interrupted: “You only think about the Earth, but consider the sky and sea. It is the water that is the basis of life and drawn up by the clouds from the deep sea. The sky gives space and peace and serenity. Without my peace, you would all be nothing.”

Yellow chuckled. “You are all so serious. I bring laughter, gaiety, and warmth to the world. The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, the stars are yellow. Ever time you look at a sunflower, the whole world starts to smile. Without me, there would be no fun.”

Orange started next to blow her temper. “I am the colour of health and strength. I may be scarce but I am precious for I serve the needs of human life. I carry the most important vitamins. Think of carrots, pumpkins, oranges, mangos, and pawpaws. I don’t hang around all the time, but when I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you.”

Red could stand it no longer. He shouted out: “I am the ruler of all of you. I am blood! Life’s blood. I am the colour of danger and of bravery. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire to the blood! I am the colour of passion and of love, the red rose, the poppy and the poinsettia. Without me, the earth would be as empty as the moon!”

Purple rose up to his full height. He was very tall and spoke with great pomp: “I am the colour of royalty and power. Kings, chiefs, and bishops have always chosen me for I am a sign of authority and wisdom. People do not question me. They obey.”

Finally, Indigo spoke, much more quietly than all the others but with just as much determination: “think of me. I am the colour of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me, you all become superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep water. You need me for balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace.”

And so all the colours went on boasting and quarrelling, each convinced of their own superiority. Soon, their quarrelling became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening! Thunder rolled and boomed! Rain started to pour down relentlessly. The colours crouched down in fear drawing close to one another for comfort.

In the midst of the clamour, Rain began to speak: “You foolish colours, fighting amongst yourselves, each trying to dominate the rest. Don’t you know you were each made for a special purpose, unique and different? Join hands with one another and come to me.”

Doing as they were told, the colours united and joined hands. The rain continued: “From now on, when it rains, each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of colours as a reminder that you can all live in peace. The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow.”

And so, whenever a good rain washes the world and a rainbow appears in the sky, let us remember to appreciate one another.

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Feeling Grounded

Autumn is a time to prepare for winter.

Autumn is a time to prepare for winter. For many plants and animals it is time to ‘go to ground’.

I’ve noticed feeling a bit ungrounded lately. Maybe you know the symptoms – feeling a bit  ‘spaced out’, a bit unwell, being clumsy, forgetful,  being extra sensitive to noise and light, feeling extra sleepy, and the mind is  all over the place.

I know I am alone with these experiences.   Especially as we can no longer rely on the ground underneath us to stay still, more and more we are feeling ungrounded.

It is interesting that our language has a lot of expressions about being grounded: holding your  ground, standing on your own two feet,  having your feet on the ground, being sure-footed, having a standing in the community…

Given that the world is changing so rapidly and we are often left reeling, it is important that we can feel steady on our feet and in our minds.

Here are some ways that help bring me back to earth.

• Simple yoga practices calm and centre me  (Balance poses especially, like the tree pose – standing on one leg - when we sway and fall it actually helps us develop steadiness, equanimity)
• Short periods of meditation and resting in the space between activities
• Getting down on the ground, (paradoxically keeps us on our feet!)
• Stomping around the house,
• Eating well – nourishing soups with root veggies
• Mindfully drinking lots of water
• Walking in nature and being with animals
• Gardening and re-potting plants for winter

Also as we walk, as we stand in a queue, it is an opportunity to get grounded.  To feel our feet, feel a downward force through our heels – to cultivate steadiness.  Let us do it again and again and again…

The world needs it.

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette has worked with the Quest for Life Foundation since early 2006 and is the Senior Facilitator on our residential programs.  Her work is treasured by our participants and our team. She has also been developing and refining a deep understanding of the use of appropriate yoga and meditation approaches for use in oncology and with serious illness.

Bernadette maintains close association with International Yoga Teachers Association and is a senior lecturer for their Teacher Training Course.  She has designed and delivered yoga teacher training courses for other organisations.  During 5 years in the UK she taught retreats, workshops and classes across the UK and in Europe and worked as a personal ‘lifestyle’ coach.  Bernadette brings a gentle and loving nature with insight and compassion borne out of her experience. She can assist a deeper connection with the body as a means to rejuvenate the spirit.

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4 Quest Group Guidelines

A journey of self discovery, acceptance, and understanding....something we all crave.

These are the 4 guidelines we use at the beginning of each Program, Group, Meeting or Gathering.

We think they are good guidelines for life. What do you think?

1. Confidentiality

The first is confidentiality. We don’t talk about who attends a group or program or what’s said there to anyone outside of that environment. Names and stories stay within the environment in which they are shared. Confidentiality creates a safe space where everyone feels personally acknowledged, heard and valued.

2. Listening 100%

Secondly, we listen 100% when someone is speaking. That means one person speaks at a time and we really hear what’s being said rather than listening to our reaction to what is said. If you are talking about something that is troubling you and I’m judging that your challenge is nothing compared to mine, then that’s me listening to me rather than hearing your anguish. It is not a competition to see who is suffering the most. Each person’s issues are of real importance to them. We give each other a precious gift by listening 100% to the other person. We encourage people to be fully present to the other rather than be manufacturing their response while listening.

3. Not Judging or Criticising

We don’t judge or criticise ourselves or other people. If a person feels miserable, depressed, peaceful, positive, jealous, angry, suicidal, anxious, we don’t tell them that they shouldn’t feel that way no matter how confronting. If that’s how you feel, that’s how you feel, Having someone say you shouldn’t feel like that is less than helpful. This allows people to speak their truth in a non judgemental environment and truly be heard by others with a loving heart. People won’t share their unspoken treasures if they feel they’ll be judged.

4. Staying with Feelings

We stay with our feelings rather than our theories or beliefs about things. We stay with our actual life experience rather than describing how we think things should, could or ought to be, or how our family, society, or anyone else thinks things should be. This is a relief as we can be real with what’s going on for us. It is through embracing our feelings without judgement that we find a path to peace. People living up to a self imposed standard that neither resonates with who they are or how they feel find peace elusive.

These guidelines provide an opportunity for a journey of self discovery, acceptance, and understanding….something we all crave.

Have you attended a Quest for Life program? How have these guidelines supported you on your journey?

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Oprah’s Love Letter

Photo courtesy of oprah.com

I missed the final episodes, just as I missed most of her shows over the years.  But whenever I did tune in, I always received a gift from Oprah, a heartwarming message, a glimpse of beauty, or dysfunction that made me feel less alone.  A friend told me how she was inspired by Oprah’s finale and her ‘love letter’ to her audience.  You can read the whole thing on Oprah.com, but here are some excerpts that resounded with me.

“I encourage you to be more of yourself …

…We are all called.  Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it. (That) is what a calling is. It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you… to live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world.”

“Each one of you has your own platform. Do not let the trappings here fool you. Mine is a stage in a studio, yours is wherever you are with your own reach, however small or however large that reach is. Maybe it’s 20 people, maybe it’s 30 people, 40 people, your family, your friends, your neighbours, your classmates, your classroom, your co-workers. Wherever you are, that is your platform, your stage, your circle of influence. That is your talk show, and that is where your power lies. In every way, in every day, you are showing people exactly who you are. You’re letting your life speak for you. And when you do that, you will receive in direct proportion to how you give in whatever platform you have.

“My great wish …is that you carry whatever you’re supposed to be doing, carry that forward and don’t waste any more time. Start embracing the life that is calling you and use your life to serve the world.”

“Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. … You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others. One of the best examples of this was Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor who was on the show talking about the book My Stroke of Insight. She was a 37-year-old, Harvard-educated brain scientist who suffered a massive stroke in the left part of her brain. She couldn’t speak or remember her own mother, but when doctors and nurses walked into her room, she knew from the right brain who was on her side. She could feel their energy.

“Dr. Taylor sent me a sign that I have hanging in my makeup room. It says, ‘Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.’ And I ask the same thing in my home and at my companies. Thank you, Dr. Taylor, for that simple but powerful lesson. All life is energy and we are transmitting it at every moment. We are all little beaming little signals like radio frequencies, and the world is responding in kind.

… Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.”

Every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: ‘Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?’   Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends.  Validate them. ‘I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.’

“I know I’ve never been alone, and you haven’t either. And I know that that presence, that flow—some people call it grace—is working in my life at every single turn. And yours too, if you let it in. It’s closer than your breath, and it is yours for the asking.

“I have felt the presence of God my whole life. Even when I didn’t have a name for it, I could feel the voice bigger than myself speaking to me, and all of us have that same voice. Be still and know it. You can acknowledge it or not. You can worship it or not. You can praise it, you can ignore it or you can know it. Know it. It’s always there speaking to you and waiting for you to hear it in every move, in every decision. I wait and I listen. I’m still—I wait and listen for the guidance that’s greater than my meager mind.

“The only time I’ve ever made mistakes is when I didn’t listen. So what I know is, God is love and God is life, and your life is always speaking to you. First in whispers. … It’s subtle, those whispers. And if you don’t pay attention to the whispers, it gets louder and louder. …”What I’ve gleaned from this show: Whispers are always messages, and if you don’t hear the message, the message turns into a problem. And if you don’t handle the problem, the problem turns into a crisis. And if you don’t handle the crisis,  disaster. Your life is speaking to you. What is it saying?”

“You all have been a safe harbor for me for 25 years…  And what I hope is that you all will be that safe harbor for somebody else—their safe place to fall.  Do for them what you all are telling me the show has done for you. Connect. Embrace. Liberate. Love somebody. Just one person. And then spread that to two. And as many as you can. You’ll see the difference it makes.

Gratitude is the single greatest treasure.

To God be the Glory”

From the Oprah Winfrey Show Finale

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette has worked with the Quest for Life Foundation since early 2006 and is the Senior Facilitator on our residential programs.  Her work is treasured by our participants and our team. She has also been developing and refining a deep understanding of the use of appropriate yoga and meditation approaches for use in oncology and with serious illness.

Bernadette maintains close association with International Yoga Teachers Association and is a senior lecturer for their Teacher Training Course.  She has designed and delivered yoga teacher training courses for other organisations.  During 5 years in the UK she taught retreats, workshops and classes across the UK and in Europe and worked as a personal ‘lifestyle’ coach.  Bernadette brings a gentle and loving nature with insight and compassion borne out of her experience. She can assist a deeper connection with the body as a means to rejuvenate the spirit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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