LOL! Does Technology make for Shallow Thinking?

Does technology make for shallow thinking?

When I was younger, LOL! meant “Lots of Love.”

Now it means “Laugh out Loud.”

The change happened sometime during that period where I was frantically trying to catch up with the X’ers and Y’s, who were leading the charge into this high tech social media age we now live in.

Why it happened, I have no idea. Surely X’ers and Y’s still like to send love to each other, however I find the thought that they might rather laugh at each other rather than love each other slightly disturbing. That’s not all I have found disturbing recently.

In an article recently published in the Sydney Morning Herald, it would appear that a growing body of scientific evidence suggests that the net, (with its constant distractions and interruptions) is turning us into scattered and superficial thinkers.

Nicholas Carr, author of the recently published book The Shallows: How the Internet Is Changing the Way We Think, Read and Remember was inspired to write the book after he realised that he was losing his own capacity for concentration and contemplation. This is something I’ve noticed myself. Apparently, when we’re constantly distracted and interrupted, as we tend to be when looking at the screens of our computers and mobile phones, our brains can’t forge the strong and expansive neural connections that give distinctiveness and depth to our thinking. Our thoughts become disjointed, our memories weak. The Roman philosopher Seneca may have put it best 2000 years ago: ”To be everywhere is to be nowhere.”

This has been further researched in a number of studies on students who use their computers during lectures and have a much lower retention rate than those who don’t, and also in multi-taskers, who seem to be absolutely hopeless! German researchers found that web browsers usually spend less than 10 seconds looking at a page. Even people doing academic research online tend to ”bounce” rapidly between different documents, rarely reading more than a page or two, according to a University College London study. Such mental juggling takes a big toll. In a recent experiment at Stanford University, researchers gave various cognitive tests to 49 people who do a lot of media multitasking and 52 people who multitask much less frequently. The heavy multitaskers performed poorly on all the tests. They were more easily distracted, had less control over their attention, and were much less able to distinguish important information from trivia.

So what to make of all of this?

I think is important to keep up with the latest technologies… there’s just too much of great value to be gained from a discerning use of the net. However, we need to do this in a way that doesn’t lose touch with our capacity for deeper, more contemplative and reflective introspection carried out without the pressure to find the answer quickly.

20 minutes of Meditation each day will meet this need wonderfully.

In the meantime, we need to carefully monitor the use of the new technology on ourselves, but just as importantly… Live, Love, and Laugh out Loud each day.
So LOL to you all.

I’d love to hear what you think about all this. Please leave your comments below.

StJohn Miall

StJohn Miall

StJohn Miall is the co-founder of Keep Evolving, an organisation the facilitates Leadership and Personal Development Programs that has it’s focus on the development of Wisdom, authentic Power and Compassion.  His focus is on the design and delivery of programs to both the corporate sector and the general public with particular focus on deeper, developmental work, supporting the ongoing building of emotional intelligence, spiritual intelligence, coaching, leadership and personal development.

StJohn is an expert guide in the gentle practice of Meditation and its use by those wishing to explore their own inner landscape.

With over 25 years of training experience, StJohn has a wealth of experience to call on both in the design and delivery of transformational programs. He is known for his easy style and ability to make the complex simple and easy to grasp.

Along with his wife Alexia, he facilitates ’Meditate for Life’ and eight week program run in Sydney to learn all about meditation and how to establish a regular meditation practice.   StJohn and Alexia also Facilitate the ‘Take a Stand for Life’ residential program held at Bundanoon which is specifically for people looking to further develop their skills for a meaningful and fulfilling life.   You can find out more about StJohn’s activities when he’s not at Quest, by visiting the Keep Evolving website.

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A Simple Practice of Mindfulness

Mindfulness

On Monday night’s webinar Petrea shared this exercise and we promised to share it on our blog!

Living with a greater awareness of our outer and inner environment provides a foundation for living an authentic and joyful life. From this inner equilibrium and stability we make our unique contribution to life. When we practice mindfulness continually we find an increased ability to recognise what is happening in each moment as it unfolds. We live with a greater acceptance of life and its unexpected challenges. We feel a sense of being at one with others and separateness begins to dissolve. We live from a stance of authenticity. We live with an openness to our feelings, a constant awareness of the activity in our mind, an awareness of our body and its senses, an intuitive sense that we are living our life purpose. We develop an awareness of our feelings but with less attachment.

I am not my feelings. I have feelings. I am…..a spark of the divine, consciousness, awareness, spirit, soul, life, energy or however you might like to describe it, and right now I’m feeling sad, scared, hopeless or whatever the feeling might be. It’s not who I am. It is what I am feeling.

Mindfulness leads to a continuous awareness of what is unfolding in the present moment.

Following are some instructions to practice mindfulness. You might like to light a candle before you begin your practice and you can leave the eyes open or shut them if you prefer during the practice.

Set your intention in the following way:

For the next (number of) minutes…

• I choose to be aware of my mind in each moment as it unfolds

• I choose to let go all thoughts regarding the future and the past

• I commit to silently witnessing my experience without any inner chatter of my mind

• My focus will be the breath, just the breath

• I commit my attention to every stage of the breath including the resting point between each inward and outward breath

• I commit myself to complete absorption in the deepest stillness of Life

This is the state that the Indians speak of as Samadhi – the state of being absorbed in attentive stillness. The regular practice of this spills over into your daily awareness and allows you to live with clarity, compassion, wisdom and skill.

Taking small ‘pauses’ throughout the day enables you to drop all stress, come to your senses and steady your breathing. Gradually you’ll find that you are as fresh at the end of the day as you were at the beginning.

Petrea King

Petrea King
N.D., D.R.M., D.B.M., Dip Cl. Hyp., I.Y.T.A.

Petrea King is a well-known author, inspirational speaker, counsellor and workshop leader. She has practiced many forms of meditation since the age of seventeen and she is also qualified as a naturopath, herbalist, hypnotherapist, yoga and meditation teacher.

In 1983 Petrea was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia and was not expected to live.  Meditation and the integration of past traumatic experiences became paramount in her recovery, much of which was spent in a monastery near Assisi in Italy.

Since then, Petrea has counselled individually or through residential programs more than 60,000 people living with life-challenging illnesses, grief, loss, trauma and tragedy. Petrea sees crisis as a catalyst for spiritual growth and understanding and as an opportunity for healing and peace.

Petrea has received the Advance Australia Award and the Centenary Medal for her contribution to the community. She has been nominated for Australian of the Year in each year since 2004.

 

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How to Stop Anger

On a recent webinar with Petrea King, a participant asked: How do you stop an immediate response of anger?

Margie has written her response to this question in her words… inspired by Petrea.

Firstly, anger is really more of a reaction than a response and there is a BIG difference between these two. If you find yourself reacting angrily then there are a few quick steps I recommend.

1. Notice that you feel really angry
2. Feel it in your body
3. STOP
4. If possible, remove yourself from the situation (go to the bathroom?)
5. Still yourself. Close your eyes. Allow your body to calm down
6. Take as long as you need to do this before you respond (‘I need an hour / week / month to think about this” can be a useful line to have tattooed on your inner arm)
7. Reflect afterwards on what happened and make a firm resolve NOT to respond in future during a full blown reaction

Finally, I reckon Grandma may have been on the money when she told us to “count to ten before you respond”…

Petrea speaks beautifully about this in her book ‘Your Life Matters’ which you can find at our shop.

Her next webinar is on Resilience on Monday 21st February at 8pm EST. You can register here.

Love to all

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Take a Stand

Friendship - hand in hand

I have spent a lot of time recently supporting a couple of friends who are having a really hard time. One of them shared a story with me today about how they felt I had changed their life. I was deeply touched by her gratitude as it had seemed such a natural thing to do.

It reminded me of a story I was told as a teenager that had a very profound impact on me. I managed to find it on the internet. This story reminds me of taking a stand both for others and for myself. In taking a stand, true greatness happens. They are moments in life that can change the course of history. In both small and immense ways. I thought I’d share this story with you.

Kyle’s Story
By John W. Schlatter in Chicken Soup for the Soul

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.”

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. ” They really should get lives.

” He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!”

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! ” He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation.

I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!”

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

” Thanks,” he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly your friends…

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.”

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mum wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

“Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mum and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realise its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life.

For better or for worse.

________________________________________________

If you want to Take a Stand in your life, we have an upcoming program focused solely on this. The program is a Monday to Friday residential program conducted at the Quest for Life Centre in Bundanoon from the 14^th – 18^th March, 2011. The program is facilitated by StJohn and Alexia Miall, with Petrea King. For more information visit our website.

Kate vanderVoort

Kate vanderVoort

Kate is currently overseeing the development and implementation of the new strategic plan for Quest for Life including developing programs for other organisations, online services, community outreach and facilitator team development.

Kate completed a Bachelor of Social Work and has more than 15 years experience in working in health, cancer and youth related charities and service providers. She has also studied yoga, meditation and a variety of training, presentation and coaching modalities. She facilitated with the Quest for Life Foundation in 1999 – 2000 and has since worked with Quest for Life in business development and fundraising roles. With more than 12 years experience in leadership and program development roles in the youth sector, Kate has a passion for creating a world in which young people wish to belong, be a part of and contribute to.

Kate has a consulting business – 3 Degrees of Connection (www.3doc.com.au) – and connects people, passions and projects through strategy and social media marketing. She lives in Sydney with her pet rabbit Heff.

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The Life You Were Born to Live

At a recent webinar Gail Ross asked” How do you know that the life you are living now is in fact the life you are meant to live? Here are some of my musings…

In Yoga philosophy ‘the life we are meant to live’ is called our Dharma.  There is no one English word to describe Dharma, it has many meanings and is a term of great importance.

Dharma is what your ‘duty’ is in this life.  Another translation I love is “that which upholds or supports” It is also described as

• That which brings well-being and elevates  one
• Leading to happiness
• The cementer and sustainer of social life.
• All external deeds, as well as thoughts and mental practices which elevate the character
• The principle of righteousness, the principle of holiness, the principle of unity.
• Whatever puts an end to conflict and brings about unity and harmony.
• Anything that helps to unite all and develop love and universal brotherhood. (Anything that creates discord, split and disharmony and foments hatred is not Dharma).
• The means of preserving one’s self.
• That which helps you to have direct communion with Peace.
• The regulation of daily life.

We serve others by living our Dharma, our soul purpose, completely.   In the Bhagavad Gita, a yoga scripture, it says, “It is better to perform one’s own duties imperfectly, than to master the duties of another. By fulfilling the obligations you are born with, you will never come to grief”

Sometimes we feel that what we do is insignificant or unimportant. We may belittle our roles of raising children or keeping house, we may resent the necessity of mundane tasks, administrative work or paying bills. We may compare ourselves, and our lives, to others and see ourselves as lacking.    Again the Gita says “No-one should abandon duties because he sees defects in them”.

So even if we feel our Dharma/our duty/that which is given us to do, is tough or goes against the grain it can get easier the more we try to find what my teacher calls an ’angle of repose’ in the midst of it.

The more we can pause, rest and access a larger vision, the more we enoble our life. We may even get a sense that our life is important to the world.   I quote my yoga teacher “the inner expansion of oneself as a human being is always intimately tied to one’s relationship with the world”

So I ask myself “what are the qualities of the heart that I bring to the situation?”  And importantly,  “what is my intention?”

Our intention colours all our experience, it doesn’t have to be extravagant, but it has to be sincere -the way we set the table, greet loved ones, make the bed.

I like to pause and ask – Is this bringing me closer to peace?  Am I becoming more agitated?  How am I looking at my life? What judgements and opinions am I heaping onto certain situations?  Are there moments of joy? Does this action bring me joy? Am I being of service?

If we are loyal to the practice of pausing, resting, to clearing the mind, we will have a safe harbour in times of challenge.  Again the teacher says “let the mind lie down and the wisdom of the heart take over”

And finally a beloved Poet says to make it a task to love the questions.

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.” – Rilke

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette has worked with the Quest for Life Foundation since early 2006 and is the Senior Facilitator on our residential programs.  Her work is treasured by our participants and our team. She has also been developing and refining a deep understanding of the use of appropriate yoga and meditation approaches for use in oncology and with serious illness.

Bernadette maintains close association with International Yoga Teachers Association and is a senior lecturer for their Teacher Training Course.  She has designed and delivered yoga teacher training courses for other organisations.  During 5 years in the UK she taught retreats, workshops and classes across the UK and in Europe and worked as a personal ‘lifestyle’ coach.  Bernadette brings a gentle and loving nature with insight and compassion borne out of her experience. She can assist a deeper connection with the body as a means to rejuvenate the spirit.

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How do you teach resilience?

This Blog post, from Margie Braunstein is in response to a question asked by Sue Adams at a recent webinar on Your Life Matters, with Petrea King. We hope you find this useful.

I reckon that to teach anything, one probably needs to learn it first (or at least be in the process of learning it) so if you accept that, and you still want to ‘teach’ your children or anyone else how to become resilient, then maybe it would be good if your first learn what you need to do to become resilient. That is: lead by example.

If you think about the greatest teachers you know (dead or alive) you will find that they embodied their work. They were shining examples of what they were teaching i.e. love, forgiveness, compassion or whatever it was.

Can you imagine a history teacher who didn’t love history being very good at his or her job? What about a cooking teacher who could not cook? It’s the same for resilience.

So, do you know how to support and nourish yourself in times of extra stress? If so, what do you do? What works? Teach from that place.

Another thing about teaching is that you can only really ‘teach’ to people who want to learn.

The most passionate guitar teacher (or auto mechanics, or neurosurgery or you name it teacher) in the world will be most useful and effective for the fully engaged students.

Sometimes you need to put some time into enrolling the person (or your kids) into wanting to learn how to develop resilience. Enrol first, teach second. You can’t teach the kids that don’t come to school but kids that love school and are ‘enrolled’ (literally) are the easiest to teach!

So, back to resilience. It’s about developing an ability to ‘bounce back’ and you do this by including the traumatic experience, rather than trying to exclude it. It’s about feeling all you have to feel until you have allowed it all to pour out and to find great support from people who will not judge you when you do this. Then you might begin to incorporate the experience and allow it to become a part of your history (or her-story)…

If you want to teach children that have been through a hard time (or a flood) resilience, then helping them to express their feelings is a good place to start. Words like “you felt pretty scared when that happened” and “I reckon you must feel quite angry about that” can help them to identify the feelings and also offers them permission to express without being judged.

Trauma needs to unravel at its own pace and if we allow the feelings to arise and do not judge ourselves or others and give the space and time needed for healing, our own bodies and minds generally know what to do and will lead us there. Trusting that process is the essence of resilience.

The other obvious question is: How do I learn resilience? But for that you might need to find a teacher…

NOTE: Petrea is conducting a free webinar on Resilience, in the wake of the recent natural disasters in Australia. Monday 21st, February 8pm (EST) click here to register.

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

 

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