Living Beyond Expectations – Part 1

The greatest antidote to cancer is to be fully engaged in living the life you came here to live. When we actively engage in a fulfilling life and take care of ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually then we create the ideal physiology in which our health can be maintained or regained.

Over the past twenty-five years I have worked with tens of thousands of people living with the impact that cancer has on their lives and who are looking to actively contribute to their own healing. Healing is different from curing. Curing focuses on the physical body. Healing focuses on the whole of the human being – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I know people who have been cured but are still in need of healing and people who have died healed of everything that ever stopped them from truly living. These are the paradoxes of healing.

When I first started working with people with cancer as a naturopath and meditation teacher, I shared with my clients my knowledge of nutrition, supplements, meditation and other healing therapies. Over the years as I saw many people regain their health I realised that there is no one pathway to health and healing. There is no one diet, no best meditation practice and no perfect supplement program for all people.

It became obvious to me that the people who were far outliving their prognosis or who attained unexpected remissions were not all doing the same things. They each found their own particular path to healing and in each case it was a pathway that was right for them. What these people all have in common is a way of being rather than doing. In this lies the key to profound healing.

Focusing only on the physical aspects of healing addresses only part of the problem of ill health. It is easy to focus on the aspects of healing that are involved in ‘doing’. Indeed we feel reassured when we are busy ‘doing’. But our doing can be at the expense of our being. The state of ‘being’ is described in the Four C’s. These four qualities of ‘being’ are usually found in people who attain unexpected remissions, who far outlive their doctor’s expectations or who are now entirely free of their disease when that was never expected. People don’t always do the same things but they generally all have these same qualities of being.

The state of being described in the Four C’s is a profoundly beneficial physiological state in which our bodies will do whatever healing is possible. A physiology of heightened fear, anxiety, agitation, disappointment, upset, depression and/or panic is less conducive to healing than one in which we feel calm, responsive, confident, capable, supported, loved, cared for and in which we feel able to make meaning of our experience and have healthy priorities that support our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.

People who have these qualities described in the Four C’s do all kinds of things. They may seek second, third or fourth opinions. They may research their options. They may get their relationships up to date and find improved ways of communicating. They may forgive people or past wounds. They may improve their diet and research what vitamins or other supplements may be beneficial. They may meditate, practice tai chi, qui gong, yoga, exercise, drink juice, have intravenous vitamins, take antioxidants or seek counselling, psychotherapy or attend a psychosocial support group. They may pray, sing, paint or fulfill a long-held dream. They may deepen their relationship with themselves, with others or with animals or nature. They choose to make meaning of their experiences through the choices or decisions they make.

……. to be continued.

Petrea King

Petrea King
N.D., D.R.M., D.B.M., Dip Cl. Hyp., I.Y.T.A.

Petrea King is a well-known author, inspirational speaker, counsellor and workshop leader. She has practiced many forms of meditation since the age of seventeen and she is also qualified as a naturopath, herbalist, hypnotherapist, yoga and meditation teacher.

In 1983 Petrea was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia and was not expected to live.  Meditation and the integration of past traumatic experiences became paramount in her recovery, much of which was spent in a monastery near Assisi in Italy.

Since then, Petrea has counselled individually or through residential programs more than 60,000 people living with life-challenging illnesses, grief, loss, trauma and tragedy. Petrea sees crisis as a catalyst for spiritual growth and understanding and as an opportunity for healing and peace.

Petrea has received the Advance Australia Award and the Centenary Medal for her contribution to the community. She has been nominated for Australian of the Year in each year since 2004.

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Rainbow Ritual

Courtesy of http://trustearthpulse.com

This ritual has developed out of our work in helping children deal with challenging, sad or distressing news. We have found it to be a wonderful blessing for children and a comfort for their parents. You can take as long or as little time with this ritual as seems appropriate for the age of the child. This ritual is wonderful for children from the age of about three.

When a child is ready for sleep, ask them to snuggle down into a comfortable position so that you can wrap them up in a rainbow. You can ask the child to close their eyes so that they can imagine better.

Running your hand lightly over the whole of their body, from the top of their head to the tips of their toes, ask the child to imagine that you’re wrapping them up in a cloud of red – the colour of tomatoes and fire engines.

You can ask the child if they can see the colour – children can always visualise colours.

Next, still running your hand lightly over their body, you ask the child to imagine that you’re wrapping them up in a cloud of orange – the colour of oranges, marigolds and nasturtiums.

Next, you wrap them in a cloud of yellow – the colour of wattle, daffodils and golden warm sunshine on a bright sunny day.

Then the colour green – the colour of spring leaves and new mown grass. All the while running your hand lightly over the body of the child.

Next you wrap the child in the colour of blue – the colour of the clear blue sky on a sun filled day or the colour of the ocean. You can ask the child again if they’re able to see the colours.

Then the colour of indigo – the colour of the night sky behind the stars.

Then you wrap the child in the colour violet – the colour of little sweet smelling violets peeping out amongst the flowers in the garden.

Finally, place your hand over the child’s heart and get them to visualise as strongly as they can a rainbow that starts in their heart and that comes out through the air and connects with your heart (placing your hand over your heart). Tell the child that this rainbow keeps the two of you connected all through the night.

You can make up a prayer or a poem to go with the ritual. A popular one is:

I wrap you in a rainbow of light to care for you all through the night. Your guardian angel watches from above and showers you with her great love.

After connecting up by rainbow with you, the child might like to send rainbows to loved ones or friends in need of love or support. They can send them to people they’re separated from by distance, divorce, illness or death. Children can be wrapped in rainbows before they’re separated from you for any reason – beginning pre or primary school, leaving for camp, staying with friends or grandparents.

Rainbows can be used in a myriad of circumstances. When passing a car accident, instead of becoming distressed about it, instead visualise that you’re all under one end of a rainbow breathing in the iridescent colour and peace of the rainbow then extend the other end of the rainbow to those in need.

Imagine your love and blessings flowing over the rainbow, like fairy dust, bringing peace and calmness so that what needs to get done gets done quietly and efficiently.

Rainbows can be sent to those affected by floods, disasters or other distressing situations which often leave children (and ourselves) feeling helpless. They can be sent between family members if someone is feeling sooky, sick or overwhelmed. They can be sent for exams, medical tests or treatments.

By sending rainbows, children feel they’re making a valuable and positive contribution instead of feeling powerless to help. Wrapping children in rainbows usually ends nightmares and separation anxiety. Don’t be surprised to see rainbows appear in a clear blue sky, outside a hospital window or in totally unexpected places.

If you have a rainbow story you’d like to share with us please do. You can download the Rainbow Ritual at www.questforlife.com.au/rainbow-ritual

Please feel free to contact us at the Quest for Life Centre if we can be of any assistance to yourself or a member of your family or if you need a rainbow sent to someone you love or yourself. © Petrea King

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How To Tell the Difference Between Grief and Depression

My aim here is to stimulate thought and reflection rather than have a view point of my own.

What are your thoughts?

Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life

Most of this is adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s new book “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” (Harmony Books, 2009) which I breezed through earlier this year online. So here goes!

Depression is an emotion to be consciously transformed; grief is a reaction to loss that can transform you. Loss comes in many forms: the death of loved one, a pet, a job, a relationship. It’s a stripping away of a potent connection, leaving an aching emptiness inside. Despite grief’s agony, try to let it flow rather than attempting to change it or get it over with. Unlike depression’s emotional inertia, grief has an inherent healing trajectory that seeks to resolve itself. Choking grief off inhibits this forward motion and leads to depression. If we don’t shut down, grief can ultimately open the heart.

Grief at the death of a loved one can set off a torrent of feelings in us with a momentum of their own.

Shock. Rage. Anxiety. Sadness. Losing someone who loved us so much, and whom we loved so deeply, is unthinkable. It takes a while for this brutal reality to sink in. We can yearn to talk to our loved one, want to hug, chat, and eat dinner with them. But none of these everyday intimacies that you think will always be there are possible anymore. Even after, years have passed, though we’ve accepted the persons death, we still miss them. Some grief you never fully get over. To this day, pangs of grief continue to resonate through us, not as a burden, but as a widening portal into the compassion of what enduring love means.

In psychiatrist Elisabeth-Kubler-Ross’s iconic book, On Death and Dying, she presents common stages of grief. Denial: “This can’t be happening!” Anger: “I’m furious about the loss or at everything.” Bargaining: “I promise I’ll be a better person if only you bring him back.” Depression: “I don’t care anymore. Life is too unfair. Why try at all?” Acceptance: “I’m coming to terms with what-is. I’m devastated but I can continue to keep loving.”

We each have our own time frame with these stages. And of course no process is the same for everyone. It’s not a text book issue!

Over the year that follows the death of a loved one, we can experience every one of these stages. It is good to know that these stages are possible but not become attached to them or thinking something is wrong if we are not going through them.

The thing to remember is that there is no formula for grief but it does affect us and we are never the same after a grief is experienced.

Sometimes we want to grieve alone. Sometimes we want to talk about it to someone we trust.

We can be thankful for the support of family, friends, therapists, and whatever has cradled us though this anguished period.

Depression can be a healthy stage of grieving, but we can get stuck there. What complicates grief is when it taps into early traumas or losses that contributed to depression. A chronically ill parent; a volatile divorce; death of close relative or friend. Our current grief is compounded by depressions that preceded it.

Tip-offs that this is happening include:

(1) Grief becomes mired in depression rather than evolving or resolving.
(2) Old traumatic memories intrude on the present; we can’t get them out of our mind. In such cases, it’s imperative to obtain psychological assistance so we don’t become lost in the limbo of these feelings.

Beyond this, we need to stay aware of ingrained, depression-related negative beliefs that may get reactivated by the current loss.

But emotional freedom necessitates being aware and working on our issues from the past or else we can stay stuck.

When we lose irreplaceable relationships, there will be a gaping hole in our life. It is  true, some things may never be the same. However, our future holds the promise for other relationships with other amazing people. Our dear ones who’ve gone don’t want us to stop loving. During grief, if old beliefs associated with depression surface, we need to be kind to ourselves, but seek the help we need to combat hopelessness.

Grief can catalyse an intuitive opening. Coping with death, in particular, tunes us into instinctual knowledge organically tied to the passage. Even if you’ve never considered the possibility of an afterlife before now, that question may become eminently relevant. Loss stimulates a part of us that may long to know and we want to tap into it and listen. When grieving, notice any intuitions that lend insight. Pay special attention to dreams. After the passing of loved ones, it’s been commonly reported that they appear in dreams to assure us they’re all right. They know how much we worry. What’s striking is that the departed look younger, healthier, happier, no longer sick or in pain. The person who has died is not suffering, we are!

Dreams about death are often conveyed with the lightness of cosmic humour to allay our worries. Intuitively, they enable us see that despite death’s physical finality, the spirit endures. Knowing this is enormously therapeutic when dealing with grief and in continuing a meaningful life. It may not console the part of us that needs a hug from those we’ve lost, but it may help.

Swami Muktananda said, “The only thing you lose when you die is your fear of death.” We, the grievers, have it much harder. Still, accepting loss as part of life’s cycles can ease our struggle with it. Unavoidably, there’s one appointment we all must keep. Once we can accept death, our own and others’, it puts the true nature of things into perspective, lets us savour every moment of our intimacies now. We can also more appropriately revere those who’ve passed without morbidness or trepidation.

Acceptance of loss doesn’t mean we like the idea of this sacrifice. But it does impart equanimity about such letting-go and a hopefulness about the longevity of love throughout time.

Love never dies. It’s what animates the light throughout infinity.

When facing loss, try to keep breathing deeply and trust the process as grief transforms itself and us.

Addressing old issues related to depression, as well as listening to intuition, enables us to psychologically work through grief and accept loss more easily

Notes:

Judith Orloff MD, an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA and intuition expert, is author of the new book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life (Harmony Books, 2009) Her other bestsellers are Positive Energy, Intuitive Healing, and Second Sight. Dr. Orloff synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. She passionately believes that the future of medicine involves integrating all this wisdom to achieve emotional freedom and total wellness. www.drjudithorloff.com

Wendie Batho

Wendie Batho

Wendie has co-facilitated residential programs with Petrea for more than sixteen years. Prior to that Wendie spent over 25 years as a teacher, school principal and was involved in educational leadership and facilitation of school executive groups.

Ten years of this time was spent in PNG where she taught and worked for the government. Wendie has been travelling since the early sixties and is especially attracted to Asian cultures. She holds degrees in Anthropology, Education, Sociology, Theology and Political Science. Her current passions are her grandchildren, travel biographies, exploring Asia, 4×4 driving, reading everything she can get her hands on, and watching movies on the big screen at home.

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Regrets… I’ve had a few

For me, the idea of ‘forgiveness’  brings me a sense of peace and release in the centre of my soul as I let go resentment and invite love and acceptance in, however it also evokes a feeling of regret for all the people I have not loved and for the times I have indulged in self righteousness and fear. I think that letting go of regret is a part of forgiving me for these errors of judgement.

Most errors of judgement arise from erroneous thinking and erroneous thinking arises from attempts to stay safe and protect ourselves from perceived danger. The emphasis being on ‘perceived’ danger that develops from experience.

There are a few people who I perceived as hurting me in the past and who I have held with a heavy heart when I see them or come across their name in my travels. There have been no rainbows for these people in my life (and no yummy chemicals of love flowing through me either).

Some of us feel hard done by and hold people in the space of hurt and blame for years or even a lifetime believing we are ‘right’ and they are ‘wrong’.

I notice as I mature chronologically and spiritually, I am able to love and accept each one of these ‘difficult’ people and understand that my reaction (of hurt, anger or indignation) and subsequently my response (of rejection and blame) was in every case, a huge factor in the development of a rift between us.

As I more fully own my reactions and accept ‘response’ ability for these reactions of hurt, hey presto! the people I thought of as ‘cruel’ or ‘mean’ seem to lose their devil horns and become normal human beings, who I understand were probably responding from their own reactions in the moment too and this awareness changes my perception.

This is true forgiveness for me. When I can own my own ‘stuff’ and accept that it was me who stopped loving, I can love again more easily and forgive both the other and myself for not having more conscious awareness of our reactive states and therefore making non loving responses.

I understand that there are people who we feel hurt by others whose behaviour seems evil and unforgiveable, and I do not condone their behaviour in any way, but I do feel compassion for people who grow up with such severely incorrect thinking that they end up injuring fellow human beings.

We ask “what were they thinking?” and the answer is not often clear but I wonder if we ask, “what were they reacting to?”, might we get closer to an answer?

I have never met an ‘evil’ baby and I think if we had a crystal ball that showed us the reasons why some people end up hurting others, we would see that they too are reacting unconsciously … only in an extreme way.

We might also understand that more hatred or hurt is not going to heal anything or keep us safer as a society. Limits are essential and some people need to be removed from society for everyone’s safety, but can hatred ever create peace?

I reckon not. Forgiveness creates peace. Forgiveness for our own errors in judgement and forgiveness for others’ errors in judgement be they great or small.

“There are no difficult people… only difficult relationships”

Anonymous

Love to all for now

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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One Lone Surfer

Photo Courtesy of http://www.islandgetawaystravel.com

6am. Cold, grey, drizzly morning. One lone surfer.  I wonder, what drives him to get up before the sun and pull on a wetsuit and plunge into the cooling sea?

He changes at the car, runs to the shore, and plunges in – no hesitation, in seconds he is paddling like mad.  And for what? The surf isn’t really ‘happening’ today – in surfspeak, it’s ‘sloppy’ and the wind is ‘wrong’.

I watch and he’s up on his board catching waves and getting dumped and catching them again, paddling out again and again…

So what keeps him going?  Why is he here?   Same reason I am I guess. Same reason I threw off the covers this cold, wet morning at 5am when I’d rather another hour’s sleep.  But something else is driving me today.  And this morning the practice is just to get up and greet the day, to breathe in and out, to take in the elements.  There was a moment too. A moment of Grace when there was a bubble of bliss and a ‘felt’ thought, “could heaven be any more beautiful?’

My mate wears a t-shirts that says “surfing is my religion”.  When I got home I ring and ask him why he goes out.  He struggles a bit to answer.  “It’s fun, it’s a great thing to do. You forget about everything and you are enjoying yourself.  You are by yourself and its one on one and you’re dependent on yourself.  It’s you and nature. It’s a whole bundle of stuff.  I can’t explain it. Sometimes on a particular wave, you think it can never get any better than this” and other times you nearly drown, I  dunno, I have to do it.  I can’t explain it”

I may have more in common with the surfer than i first thought….  My  yoga teacher says ‘when you are tempted to press the snooze button, ask yourself will a half-hour sleep feel as good as half an hour of practice?”

So, thank you surfer dude – for your discipline and drive, and the demonstration that an experience of real Union/Bliss /Joy takes effort.  And the ride is not always easy but we HAVE to do it.

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette is a yoga and meditation teacher and group facilitator and has been teaching since the early 1990s.  She has worked with people of all ages, from diverse backgrounds and cultures and has developed skills of serving people dealing with significant life issues.  She taught community classes for children, teens, people with disabilities, the elderly, sports professionals, and also in corporate environments.

Bernadette has worked with the Quest for Life Foundation since early 2006 and is the Senior Facilitator on our residential programs.  Her work is treasured by our participants and our team. She has also been developing and refining a deep understanding of the use of appropriate yoga and meditation approaches for use in oncology and with serious illness.

Bernadette maintains close association with International Yoga Teachers Association and is a senior lecturer for their Teacher Training Course.  She has designed and delivered yoga teacher training courses for other organisations.  During 5 years in the UK she taught retreats, workshops and classes across the UK and in Europe and worked as a personal ‘lifestyle’ coach.  Bernadette brings a gentle and loving nature with insight and compassion borne out of her experience. She can assist a deeper connection with the body as a means to rejuvenate the spirit.

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Building Resilient Children

There has never been a time in history where children are so subjected to information about and pictures of, suffering. Some families are eating dinner while there are images of great suffering on the television news and both print media and radio news can conjure up pictures that children may find anxiety provoking.

Children can often be overlooked when there is a world tragedy, family or school upset or when adults around them are dealing with relationship breakdown, separation issues, illness, grief or depression. Some people think that children are mostly oblivious to these peripheral stresses in their lives but this is a great error in judgment.

Science has now proved what intuitively our grandmothers knew: a happy stable loving child grows up in a happy stable loving environment. The neurochemistry laid down in the first three years of life has a profound impact upon the child’s growing brain. While children don’t understand the intellectual underpinnings of many adult conversations, they are acutely aware of the ‘sound’ or tone of the voices around them. There is a tone of voice that conveys judgment; there’s a sound conveyed by resentment or despair and a sound around blame, frustration and anger.

Children don’t understand the beliefs that adults may hold, but they can certainly ‘read’ the feeling being expressed and will associate that tone of voice with the subject of the adult’s judgment. In this way children learn to close their hearts and minds to whomever their family sees as ‘the others’ – those that are richer, poorer, better educated, less educated, from a different religion, sexual orientation or cultural background.

Children’s bodies and brains react to these sounds by secreting increased amounts of adrenalin and cortisol. The secretion of these chemicals is necessary at times when we need to run away from a valid fear or to front up and deal with it and these physical activities use up the benefit of these chemicals. When a child feels stressed a good deal of the time, these chemicals negatively activate and speed up some processes in the body as well as suppress the capacities of the child’s immune system.

Young children have a natural capacity to be still and enjoy the present moment. As babies and very young children, we were content with very simple pleasures derived from our senses. Just taking on all the new sounds, sensations, smells, sights and tastes was a full time job! This ability to be happily absorbed in whatever activity is at hand gradually wanes as a child becomes caught up with the busy-ness of life and its challenges.

It is natural for young children to be compassionate and caring. A young child doesn’t require knowledge of your bank account or your educational history in order for them to bestow upon you their bountiful love.

As children grow and realise there are things to be achieved and challenges to be overcome, they may lose this capacity to find pleasure in the simple things of life. In addition, many children become sensitive to the upsets in their loved-ones or the wider world.

We can build resilience in our children by giving them practical skills and strategies to utilize whenever they feel anxious or upset. We do this best by being a living demonstration to our children because as we all know, children watch what we do rather than follow what we say! When we bounce back from life’s challenges and disappointments we can share with our children how and why we did so. This is something that needs to be taught to children and is a vital part of them learning to be capable when life’s unexpected disasters or disappointments happen. Spending time with children explaining to them how they can build resilience and reading them stories where children demonstrate these qualities helps children understand how they can embrace their difficulties in life with skill.

Over the past twenty five years I have listened to thousands of stories from adults who were physically, sexually or emotionally abused as children. Paradoxically, many of these people find that once they integrate these past emotional wounds, they find some of the strengths that they developed because of these painful experiences. They may have developed resilience, self-reliance, capabilities and determination. I have also heard many people say that they had such a happy experience as a child that it never prepared them to deal with difficulties and disappointments when they encountered them! Either way, as parents, we can actively promote and teach resilience skills to our children or grandchildren and equip them as adults to grapple meaningfully and creatively with the challenges they will encounter in both their personal and global lives.

Petrea King

If you would like to join Petrea to hear more about building resilient children you can join us for:
eSeminar (online):  8pm – 9pm Tuesday 20th July, 2010 www.questforlife.com.au/eSeminars
Day Seminar (Sydney): 26th September, 2010 www.questforlife.com.au/day-programs

Author of You, Me & the Rainbow, Rainbow Kids and The Rainbow Garden published by Jane Curry Publishing and Rainbow Connection CD for children and five books for adults including Your Life Matters and a dozen meditation CDs.

Founding Director and CEO, Quest for Life Foundation www.questforlife.com.au

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Body image, Self Hatred and Thank Goodness for Naomi Woolfe!

Little Margie

As a therapist, I often work with women who are dealing with body image and issues relating to health, and in particular their body weight. I am acutely aware that women of all shape and size struggle with creating and maintaining their ‘ideal body’ which is normally not the one in which they currently live.

As a woman, I have also battled with the demon of ‘never looking good’ and the feelings of guilt associated with eating and heaven forbid enjoying food!

I was thinking the other day that I have been waging war with my body for over 35 years as I recalled hating my body as a teenager. I remembered the shame I felt about going to the beach and the avoidance of bikinis and other fitted garments like jeans.  I caused myself much grief and missed out on so much fun! (By the way, I weighed 56 kilos at age 15 and was 165 cm at that time – hardly overweight)…

As I mused over this, it got me asking myself about how young I actually was when I first started to hate my body and in turn hate some part of myself? I searched my memory bank and actually found memories of feeling ‘fat’ and being told I was ‘chubby’ as young as 8 years old. I remember going to Dence Park Pool in the 1960’s in my orange 2 piece cozzie and not wanting to get out of the water in case people saw my ‘fat tummy’. I was 6 years old. How sad.

I found memories as young as 5 years old when I was told I was like my overweight aunt (who is a gorgeous person actually – but this was not the focus in my family). I remember my mum talking negatively about her weight then and still (she is now 80).

To my astonishment, I found recesses in my mind that held memories of feeling ‘fat’ and that there was ‘something wrong with me’ as early as 4 years old. I remembered being told I was ‘cuddly’ which was nice but also referred to my body fat levels as I recall. I remember a very cute little dress with lilac trim and when I saw a photo of myself wearing it outside Sunday school, thinking that I looked fat. I was 4!

I have always considered myself to have been a ‘fat baby’ and when I look at baby photos, I still see a behemoth looking back. I wonder if I was a fat foetus???

So when I listened to Naomi Woolfe talking about the beauty myth and how we have swallowed (pardon the pun) all this rubbish about our looks mainly so corporations can sell us stuff to control them (our looks that is), I wake up to the truth just a little more.

When I hear my clients talking about their ‘weak wills’, it breaks my heart to see all of these beautiful women raging war against their own flesh and I realise that the more we all hate our bodies and loathe ourselves for being ‘weak willed’ the hungrier we feel! I reckon eating eases the pain… How ironic!

So thank you Naomi for reminding me that we are all beautiful women and that it is ok to eat and it is also ok to love clothes and makeup as long as we remember that they are toys and not about our real beauty.

From now on I am going to focus on ‘good health’ rather than ‘size 10’ because I believe that self love is the basis of good health. When I love myself, I meditate and come into alignment with my heart and when I do this, I begin to eat, move and live in alignment with my highest good and what the size reads on the label is less relevant than what my heart says and my spirit knows which is summed up in this great quote… ‘We are all already perfect, just in different stages of not knowing that ‘. Rob Crowe

Love to all

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Poetry soothes and emboldens the Soul

I watched a movie the other day.  One character laments that she doesn’t understand poetry, that she needs to ‘work it out’.   The poet responds “Poetry needs understanding through the senses. The point of diving into a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore.  It’s to be in the lake.  It is to luxuriate in the sensation of water.  It is an experience beyond thought.   You do not work the lake out, it Is.”

I am a poetry lover.  It is like medicine to me.  I need a dose on a daily basis.

I’ve been thinking about Gratitude lately. On this theme, one of my favourite poets asks me to consider various things.  Her questions are below, along with my answers from today.

What did you notice?

(The pale pink clouds turning to watermelon as the sun came up behind them)

What did you hear?

(The delicate warblings of the tiny wrens that visit the scrubby bush outside my home )

What did you admire?

(The courage of my friend who can look past the repeated meanness from a daughter and still turn up, with a willingness to act with a kindness she does not feel)

What astonished you?

(Myself!  Choosing not to entertain a train of thought that has been familiar to me my whole life – today I could just let it go.  Not sure how it happened, perhaps it was a moment of Grace…)

I invite you consider these questions.  And to read some poetry.  It has so many gifts.  Make it a meditation.

A last thought from the movie – “Poetry soothes and emboldens the Soul to accept mystery”.

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette is a yoga and meditation teacher and group facilitator and has been teaching since the early 1990s.  She has worked with people of all ages, from diverse backgrounds and cultures and has developed skills of serving people dealing with significant life issues.  She taught community classes for children, teens, people with disabilities, the elderly, sports professionals, and also in corporate environments.

Bernadette has worked with the Quest for Life Foundation since early 2006 and is the Senior Facilitator on our residential programs.  Her work is treasured by our participants and our team. She has also been developing and refining a deep understanding of the use of appropriate yoga and meditation approaches for use in oncology and with serious illness.

Bernadette maintains close association with International Yoga Teachers Association and is a senior lecturer for their Teacher Training Course.  She has designed and delivered yoga teacher training courses for other organisations.  During 5 years in the UK she taught retreats, workshops and classes across the UK and in Europe and worked as a personal ‘lifestyle’ coach.  Bernadette brings a gentle and loving nature with insight and compassion borne out of her experience. She can assist a deeper connection with the body as a means to rejuvenate the spirit.

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