HAPPINESS IS …

Michelle Richmond

Heading down the highway, bands of the past put smiles on our faces and our vocal chords rage, as with a raspy voices, we belt out the sounds of Simon and Garfunkel.  Every kilometre passing my body sinks deeper into itself as the past month of massive change reverberates through my system.

The temperature gage drops to an icy 2 degrees, the air is chilly and it’s our orientation to bunk down, light the fire, indulge in a good book, go internal and nourish the soul, mind and body.

But NO… the outdoors beckons and we wander along the country road breathing in the aliveness of the country air, letting go of the fullness of the past month, stretching, moving, feeling the earth draw the tension from my body, absorbing the nourishment of the forest and recognising the congestion we so often carry unconsciously in the day to day of our full lives.

A local farmer ‘Dave’ pulls over, introduces himself and says ‘Well if you’ve got nothing to do this afternoon I’m taking the bike to round up some lambs, come along.’

Never an adventurer myself, with 1minute instruction, I mount this four wheeled wild beast, grasping the handle bars we head off through the 1^st gate my heart in my mouth, “just relax” reverberating through my mind,  at the first steep decent my heart beats to a rhythm it hasn’t experienced for some time. Two hours later we return having tamed the wild beast and adventured through mountains, streams and rain, shaken, rattled and rolled I’ve experienced the most glorious views that nourish the heart and feed the soul, this is what happiness is…

I FEEL FULLY ALIVE!!

“Surrender to the stillness the truth you seek is already there, not the stillness in stillness but the stillness in movement.” Unknown

‘During winter many people get sick not only because of the changes in temperature but because of the decrease in solar and air prana (life energy that keeps the body alive and healthy). Thus a lot of people feel mentally and physically sluggish, depressed, lose vitality or become susceptible to infectious disease.’ says Master Choa Kok Sui International Author,  Researcher and Lecturer Pranic Healing

Happiness demands that we move, cleanse and revitalise our energetic systems to create maximum health and vitality.

• Creating MOVEMENT in your body creates movement in your life; walking, running, yoga, tai chi and dancing decongest and revitalise the physical and energetic body.

• Draw energy from NATURE as the air, sun, ocean and forests have strong, nourishing, invigorating and healing energy.
• Get your vocal cords moving and SING; clearing the throat chakra, opening the ribs and chest raising your vibration … who cares if you sound like a warbling, whaling, feline!!
• Take and EPSOM SALTS bath or use salt as a scrub to cleanse away other people’s energy.
• Step out of the box, be spontaneous and do something that makes you feel FULLY ALIVE!!

Michelle Richmond

Michelle facilitates interconnection of the spirit, with Mind Body Medicine taking Personal and Professional Development to a deeper level integrating Emotional and Spiritual Intelligence, Micro Movement, Neurology  and Energy Work to create increased states of expansion, new possibilities and congruence in all aspects of your health and life. Michelle is facilitating on our next Quest for Life Program for people with cancer and other life threatening illness.

“Each week is like a stepping stone into another part of discovering your potential.” Client

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Having trouble getting disciplined with discipline?

StJohn Miall

If you’re anything like me, there are certain areas of your life where the daily disciplines are slipping through the cracks, even though you know it’s important.

For me it’s usually around the physical side of things; getting up and going for that invigorating walk every morning or maintaining some of the dietary rules I’ve committed to that I know will help bring my weight down a bit.   We’ve all got them, but when you know you’re not performing as well as you should what can you do about it?

Beating yourself up rarely helps, and the undermining of self-esteem that comes with this usually undermines future efforts to start again.

I think accountability has a lot to do with it.    I don’t like letting other people down, so will work a lot harder at meeting my promises when another is involved.   My crafty little monkey mind can usually come up with an excuse that will get past my own checking, but won’t hold water if someone else is involved.

At last I’ve found a really useful tool to help me get past all these mind games and support my integrity around these things.

http://www.mindbloom.com

It’s a great little website called Mindbloom.

How it works is like this:

• Your life is represented by a tree.    Each branch represents a difference aspect of your life – Relationships, Health, Career, Spiritual Development etc.  Branches can have sub-branches and there are leaves on the end of the branches.   The leaves are the actions that you have chosen to do to achieve your goals
• The cloud-based software allows you to set goals in each of the areas, and then break these down into activities, which you can commit to on a daily basis – it’s all up to you.
• Then each day you receive a reminder email about those things you committed to do that day.   Once done, you can go in to the website and tick them off.
• Lots of ticks means that your tree grows strong and healthy, but too many missed commitments means that the leaves start to turn brown and die (OMG!).
• It’s got other nice features that include having the ability to share your goals and progress with other friends who are using the system (only if you want to).

The graphics are great and you can even upload your own inspirational photos.

It’s definitely worth a look, with a two week free trial period and thereafter a modest annual fee to use.

Mindbloom is certainly helping me keep to those daily disciplines that I struggle with.   The areas of my life in which I still let myself wriggle, are slowly being brought under control.    The sight of a once healthy green leaf turning brown has a powerful effect in re-motivating me and getting me back on track.

Check it out for yourself, it might be just what you need to help get past the barriers that are holding you back.

And, we’d love to hear from you about what are the tricks or tools you use to get yourself out of the resistant/procrastinating space.    Please add your comments below.

All the best

Singe

St John was the Managing Director of a personal development and lifeskills training company in Victoria for 6 years offering a variety of courses to both the general public and corporate clients. In 1999 he co-founded EcoSTEPS P/L, a Triple Bottom Line Sustainability Consultancy.

More recently, his focus has been on the design and delivery of programs to both the corporate sector and the general public with particular focus on deeper, developmental work, supporting the ongoing building of emotional intelligence, coaching, leadership and personal development.

StJohn is an expert guide in the gentle practice of Meditation and its use by those wishing to explore their own inner landscape.

With over 25 years of training experience, StJohn has a wealth of experience to call on both in the design and delivery of transformational programs.      He is known for his easy style and ability to make the complex simple and easy to grasp.

StJohn is now one of the founding directors of Circumference a company focused on the delivery of Leadership and Personal Development Programs. He will be facilitating a meditation course for the Quest for Life Foundation in Sydney called Meditation for Life and is developing a new program called Take a Stand for Life ~ which is specifically for past participants of QFLF programs..

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The Hero’s Journey

Margie Braunstein

I am just back from beautiful Bundanoon and Healing Your Life and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on my experience of the program.  Many of you in the Quest for Life community have had the opportunity to participate by either making the journey down to Bundanoon or attending one of the other programs or events around Australia, but for those who have not had the experience, I thought I would jot down some of the highlights for me as a facilitator…

As I drive up the pebble driveway, I hear the crackle of stones under my tyres and my heart does a little jump. I feel a great sense of anticipation arising in me.  I have been on many programs in the past few years and it always fills me with joy to see the outline of the big house appear as I round the bend.

Quest for Life Centre

As I park, I remember the first time I came to Bundanoon for a program. I was feeling apprehensive but curious and I remember an internal question forming which went something like… “What am I getting myself into here?”… I imagine it is similar for many who make the trip for the first time.

The first day is underway and as usual my heart is beginning to melt as I get to appreciate the experiences that people have in life and wonder at what courageous and beautiful human beings they all are.  For some it seems that even turning up on a program takes an enormous act of bravery.  I am reminded of the archetypal ‘Hero’s journey’.  Here’s the short version… In the classic myth, the hero hears the call which could be the call to live well or the call to do a program at Quest for Life or the call because “enough is enough” and “something has to change”!

So the hero hears the call and starts the journey. She (or he!) faces demons, challenges, awakenings and obstacles. The darkest hour arrives… but help is at hand and help is accepted and works its magic.

Eventually the hero turns the corner and has an ‘aha’ moment of awakening in which she sees the light and then the journey towards home becomes easy and the path clear.

Once the hero returns, she is at home again but has changed forever because she sees the world through new eyes and so the hero knows more of her true nature and with this awareness finds peace …

I guess that is what ‘Quest for Life’ is all about. Our own personal quest for the life we want and the life we were born to live. It is so easy to lose sight of purpose when life’s challenges turn up.

The hero in the myth is not so different from each one of us.  Sometimes just turning up is answering the call and gets the process going so we can head towards ‘home’. Towards our first nature.

Quest Garden

Anyway, back to Bundanoon. The second day inspires me as I get to know participants a little more. The food is great, the garden is glowing. I go for a brisk walk during our long lunch and the air is clear and cool. I lie down for a rest in the sunshine and enjoy a little nana nap before returning to the course room for another long relaxation… I’m feeling so chilled out which is such a contrast to the busyness of my normal life.

I find myself in conversation with people from all walks of life. Country people, city people, people from all over Australia. People who want to heal, who feel vulnerable and I marvel at the way the program supports people without pushing or pulling them. It feels more like an invitation to explore and people around me are beginning to trust that this is the case.

Day three.  Halfway. Lots of information and I see the light of awareness flickering on for people like fairy lights in the dark. Some are really unwinding in the peaceful environment and enjoying the yoga and relaxation practices.  We have a fun session in the evening and for some it is a most surprising and moving experience. Our facilitator is a luminous person who laughs and sings and inspires me, and I suspect many others, in our joy full experience…

On the fourth day it feels like the faces of people around me are changing (in a good way) as we head for the home stretch. There is an invitation to express creativity. Some people are more enthusiastic than others but in the end a spark of creativity erupts and there is an issuing forth of the perfect expression of each individual. There is laughter and fun. It is not about good or bad, just acceptance for who you are, just as you are.

And so day five is here and I return to where I began with the crackle of stones under my tyres once again, only this time I am heading out of the driveway. I feel like I have not driven a car for a month! I have hugged people and blown kisses. I feel privileged to have shared the week with such special people and I head on up the highway with the waft of roses trailing behind me and the sound of laughter in my ears.

I feel grateful for the week I have had and honoured to know such brave and wise people. True heroes one and all…

Love to all for now

Margie

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

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Forgiveness can connect us with who we really are.

Forgiveness can connect us with who we really are.

Wendie Batho

That is our real work. To find out who we are and what we are doing on the planet. Forgiveness can heal every false thought, every small idea every limiting or fearful concept we have about ourselves that stops us from experiencing who we really are. One of the marvellous tools we have to that, is forgiveness. “Forgiveness is capable of producing some of the most profound transformations you could ever hope for or imagine in your life and the lives of others”. Neale Donald Walshe.

Forgiveness can give us back to ourselves!

Gary Zukav who wrote The Seat of The Soul says forgiveness in an energy dynamic not a moral issue. So forgiveness means not carrying around the baggage of an experience. It means not holding others responsible for our experiences. If we don’t hold ourselves accountable for what we experience, we will hold someone else accountable.

Taking responsibility stops us saying “She made me…..” as no one else can make us feel anything. What we feel is ours and not anyone else’s responsibility. What another person does may bring up feelings in us but they are our feelings and we need to manage them.

Complaining is a way of wanting someone else to fix things for us for what we experience. Blaming another is not taking responsibility. Of course we do have a choice in the matter and the choice we make decides our peace of mind!

When we think about it, forgiveness is all about not giving our power away to another person or event. When we forgive we release ourselves from critical judgement of others and ourselves. That is a liberation.

Caroline Myss (Invisible Acts of Power) says “The person you resent does not have to live in your body; you do” and “Take back your spirit from the past”.

We need to ask ourselves what we need to do in order to heal and feel at peace.

Martin Seligman (Authentic Happiness) also goes through a lot of myths about forgiveness but what grabbed me at the Happiness Conference was when he said “Forgiving leaves the memory intact but removes and even transforms the sting”.

Finally, if forgiveness is so good for us, why do so many of us choose to hang on to hurts?

Maybe we just don’t understand what forgiveness is and we are still stuck in the idea that forgiveness means condoning or many of the other beliefs about what it means to forgive.

If we don’t understand what forgiveness is and no one has taught us how to forgive, we can be confused about what it is, and isn’t and no wonder so many people suffer!

Wendie Batho

Wendie has co-facilitated residential programs with Petrea for more than sixteen years. Prior to that Wendie spent over 25 years as a teacher, school principal and was involved in educational leadership and facilitation of school executive groups.

Ten years of this time was spent in PNG where she taught and worked for the government. Wendie has been travelling since the early sixties and is especially attracted to Asian cultures. She holds degrees in Anthropology, Education, Sociology, Theology and Political Science. Her current passions are her grandchildren, travel biographies, exploring Asia, 4×4 driving, reading everything she can get her hands on, and watching movies on the big screen at home.

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Return to Your Centre

Bernadette Arena

I recently spent some time with a dear yoga teacher and friend.  In the meditation that began our practice together she encouraged us as we sat, to find our ‘centre’.  I began to focus on the physical centre of the body.  Initially, I felt some subtle tension there, deep in the belly.  After a while I was able to feel some kind of connection between the centre of the body and the earth under me.  There were moments when awareness would move beyond the transitory procession of thoughts, likes and dislikes, hopes, fears to a stillness of mind.  I found I might experience it for a moment or two and then I’d lose it again.  The challenge was to keep coming back to that place again and again.

After some time the teacher asked us to seek ‘the centre of the centre’.  That was a lot trickier!

What does that mean, the ‘centre of the centre’?  Well, it has many implications.

On a physical level, so often our posture is slightly off- centre and out of balance and we spend a lot of energy just holding ourselves up against gravity.

On the emotional level, when strong feelings come up, say fear, we instinctively react and are taken away from our stability, from our centre.

Life gives us many opportunities to lose our centre.  To lose it and regain it, over and over again.

And this is the practice – to observe the occasions when we ‘lose it’, to counter our instinct which are usually to pull away, and to minute by minute regain ‘it’.

If I have a clear, strong relationship to my centre – and thus to the world – I will have buoyancy and resilience and chance to choose, again and again.

So the centre of the centre?  As the teacher says ‘That’s a subject for meditation for the rest of your life!’

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette is a yoga and meditation teacher and group facilitator and has been teaching since the early 1990s.  She has worked with people of all ages, from diverse backgrounds and cultures and has developed skills of serving people dealing with significant life issues.  She taught community classes for children, teens, people with disabilities, the elderly, sports professionals, and also in corporate environments. Bernadette has worked with the Quest for Life Foundation since early 2006 and is the Senior Facilitator on our residential programs.  Her work is treasured by our participants and our team. She has also been developing and refining a deep understanding of the use of appropriate yoga and meditation approaches for use in oncology and with serious illness.  Bernadette maintains close association with International Yoga Teachers Association and is a senior lecturer for their Teacher Training Course.  She has designed and delivered yoga teacher training courses for other organisations.  During 5 years in the UK she taught retreats, workshops and classes across the UK and in Europe and worked as a personal ‘lifestyle’ coach.  Bernadette brings a gentle and loving nature with insight and compassion borne out of her experience. She can assist a deeper connection with the body as a means to rejuvenate the spirit.

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Midlife – Crisis or Opportunity

Jane Ewins

I have been thinking about the number of people I am meeting at present in their 40’s and 50’s who are searching and often struggling to find answers to their version of two questions: “What am I going to do with the rest of my life?” and “I feel like I have lost myself – who am I?”

I went through a similar search after finishing treatment for cancer. I was 44 and at the time hoping I’d make it to 50! I think significant crises like cancer, acute and chronic illnesses, car accidents etc often become a catalyst to reviewing our lives. It seems to me that approaching 50 and moving towards our 60’s also seems to trigger similar questions in increasing numbers of people. I guess that’s why “they” call it a midlife crisis!

There are apparently “logical” reasons for this including children leaving home, (or at least children paying board!), divorce, early retirement, retrenchment, reaching the top of the work-force chain in your chosen line of work, the death of a parent.

While some of the people I have spoken with may talk about one or more of those things as causing them anxiety or grief, without exception, these “causes” are far too simplistic and don’t scratch the surface of the “real” reasons. While they sense there is a deeper “reason” it is often hard to actually identify what is really going on under the surface. This can feel frustrating, because if we can’t properly identify the problem – how on earth do we “fix it”! This can feel like a never ending circle going round and round – no beginning – no end – no relief, or worse: a spiral going down and down, leading to deep depression.

From my own personal experience and through my work as a counselor and group facilitator I think what is happening may be described as an internal spiritual alarm -whispering to some, singing or screaming to others  “ So you’re halfway through life, how are you going to live the rest of it – you’re on the downhill slope? What is your life about?”

To recognize that we are not getting any younger and that “life waits for no (wo) man” can be an invigorating shake up if we choose to see it as an opportunity to take stock of our lives – see what we want to take with us – physically, emotionally and spiritually for the second half, discard what we don’t and become aware of what it is that provides the spark and enthusiasm to live the second half of our lives.

Some people may realise that their life is ok, but they have been taking it for granted and it only needs a bit of a polish – gratitude, and awareness of and recommitment to what is important. Others they may feel they need a personal renovation rescue team for their life!

There are many resources available to help us when we reach a crossroad whether it be the big 50, illness or crisis. In my experience the most important thing each of us can do is recognize and acknowledge that we are feeling challenged/scared/angry/depressed/uncertain/excited or whatever it is we are feeling, then depending on your religious and/or spiritual preferences trust and ask soul/god/Allah/the universe/your higher self for guidance on a regular basis and create at some quiet time in your life on a daily basis to still your mind.

There are many books, cds, workshops and programs that can support you in finding, perhaps it is more appropriate to say – creating- the answers to your questions. Those answers are yours and yours alone. Others can support and encourage you through sharing what they have learned and experienced, but only you can decide what is right for you.

Midlife can be a wonderful opportunity to explore our untapped or underutilized creativity, interests and wisdom. We may be getting looser skin, greyer hair, senior memory moments – but we still have a lot of living to do. My mother gave me a card on my 16^th birthday which said “to thyne own self be true”….the crises in my life have been important to help me do that. We often hear “ If I only knew then what I now…” We can’t change or go back to “then”, but we can choose to live the days ahead well in ways that develop and express love, understanding and awareness for ourselves and contribute.

Jane Ewins

Jane is a counselor and group facilitator. She spent the first 20 years of her working life as a marketing and communications executive. Jane was diagnosed with rectal cancer in 2002 and faced many challenges adjusting to the changes following her diagnosis and treatment. Her experience inspired her to become a counselor, facilitator and advocate.

Jane developed the popular ‘Living Well after Cancer” program for the NSW Cancer Council. She has also developed education programs for several other not-for-profit organizations on issues including parenting after separation, conflict resolution, self esteem, and stress management. Jane has worked as a family relationship counselor. She currently counsels and supports carers in the Shoalhaven, NSW in addition to her own private counseling practice. She is also writing a book about the challenges and opportunities of life after cancer.

Jane Facilitates the Quest for Life program and other programs that support the Quest for Life community.

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Things you might see at the beach

Bernadette Arena

Sometimes I have to coax myself to step out for a walk on the beach. Not that the beach isn’t glorious in all of its ‘moods’ or at any time of day. It’s the perverse nature of the mind that resists doing what it knows we need or love. It’s the internal moods and the ever-so convincing chatter of the mind – “I’m too busy, I have too many things to do”, I’ll do it later (a very common one) or “I’ll go tomorrow…”

So in order to take myself in hand and actually get out the door, I play a game with myself. It’s called ‘Things You Might See If You Walk On The Beach’.

It always lifts my spirits and it’s another version of my gratitude list. There are always the ‘usual’ things you’d expect – seaweed, shells, rocks, bluebottles, waves, sand etc. I keep adding to my list

• A heart shaped rock
• A blue and yellow frilled seahorse
• Dozens of pink roses (how did they get there?)
• A lone sea eagle hovering, and diving for the hunt
• A flock of pelicans in perfect formation
• A piece of brilliant red feathery seaweed that stood out on a grey dull day
• A giant sandcastle
• The words ‘I love you’ carved into the sand…

So today, feeling a bit gloomy, not at all excited about another birthday coming up. I decided it was time to play Things I Might See… Taking a longer route and walking in a different direction, my mood still hadn’t shifted that much when I was almost at the end of the beach. (Ever notice how the environment fades into the background when you are mesmerised by the play inside your head?)

I was then jolted out of my musings. There at the end of the beach, perched up on a rock facing the early morning sun was a nun. In full white habit. Head bent over a prayer book. I stopped and grinned and whispered a ‘thank you’ to the Universe for its sense of humour and perfect comedic timing. Tide was coming in so I couldn’t walk past. I really wanted to speak to her yet didn’t want to disturb her devotions. So I paused a discreet distance away and did my own devotions to the morning sun – some stretches and deep, slow breathing… Finally I got an inner impulse to say hello. I excused myself and asked if it was ok to chat for a moment. She smiled beatifically and said “oh yes”. So I told her about my game, saying she’d go on my list today and that I had never before seen a nun on the beach. We laughed and chatted for a while. She said “when I saw you I felt something in my Spirit”. She asked my name, said she’d say a prayer for me. I asked hers, “it’s Sister Lepida” she said. “It means Hope…”

Of course it is, I thought! Ever get the feeling the Universe is playing with you?

Bernadette Arena

Bernadette is a yoga and meditation teacher and group facilitator and has been teaching since the early 1990s.  She has worked with people of all ages, from diverse backgrounds and cultures and has developed skills of serving people dealing with significant life issues.  She taught community classes for children, teens, people with disabilities, the elderly, sports professionals, and also in corporate environments. Bernadette has worked with the Quest for Life Foundation since early 2006 and is the Senior Facilitator on our residential programs.  Her work is treasured by our participants and our team. She has also been developing and refining a deep understanding of the use of appropriate yoga and meditation approaches for use in oncology and with serious illness.  Bernadette maintains close association with International Yoga Teachers Association and is a senior lecturer for their Teacher Training Course.  She has designed and delivered yoga teacher training courses for other organisations.  During 5 years in the UK she taught retreats, workshops and classes across the UK and in Europe and worked as a personal ‘lifestyle’ coach.  Bernadette brings a gentle and loving nature with insight and compassion borne out of her experience. She can assist a deeper connection with the body as a means to rejuvenate the spirit.

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