Continued from yesterday………… We have recently witnessed the outward pouring of empathy and love from a global community for Heath Ledger’s family and friends. We don’t say, ‘our minds go out to you’, we say, ‘our hearts go out to you’. By this we mean that we extend our body map – our loving consciousness – through the invisible ocean that connects us, to envelop his family and friends. Indeed, Heath’s father spoke of the comfort that this outpouring of love from an extended community has brought them.
The loved-ones of people who die often speak of the emotional support they felt from family, friends, colleagues and others in their community and indeed, often feel that it was this love that buoyed them through the funeral and the immediate days afterwards. It is as if we infuse our consciousness into the body map of those who mourn and we are all strengthened through the experience; the sum of the collective consciousness being far more than any individual is able to summon. This is particularly so given that the individual is struggling to orient themselves in an altered landscape.
Likewise, many people find as the days, months, weeks and years unfold and the people who once mourned alongside of them, are distracted by their own lives, they may feel deserted and isolated in their pain. As people withdraw their consciousness through the distractions of their own lives we feel bereft of their love and understanding.
There is no timeframe for grief as there is no timeframe for love. Some people will move through the profound changes with relative ease while others will struggle to find a meaning for their life and any reason to exist given that the foundations of their life, literally their map for life, has been so profoundly shaken or destroyed.
There is a lesson for our communities in this. We need to build resilient communities both within our families, networks and larger communities so that we find a peaceful way forward when the trauma of grief assails us. Many of us are separated from our cultural or ancestral communities because we have moved to Australia from elsewhere. There is extensive social isolation between communities, cultures and within families. The resilience of the members of our communities is the responsibility of us all. It is often grief that draws us together and by which we find a larger landscape of awareness and connectedness. Reaching out to one another and continuing to care beyond the immediacy of bereavement is a key to building such resilience in ourselves and others.
The opposite of death is birth, not life. Life, love is indestructible, invisible, all pervading and the essence of our being. Love never dies. It is our ability to be profoundly connected to the essence of our being that enables us to let go of the physical form of our bodies or to perceive that our loved-ones are no less alive now that they have physically departed from us.
In this lies the great mystery of life and love.
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In April the Quest for Life Foundation is holding a very special program for 18 – 35 year olds who are living with the loss of a sibling. This program is being delivered in conjunction with Compassionate Friends and CanTeen. For more information, visit our website
Petrea King
N.D., D.R.M., D.B.M., Dip Cl. Hyp., I.Y.T.A.
Petrea King is a well-known author, inspirational speaker, counsellor and workshop leader. She has practiced many forms of meditation since the age of seventeen and she is also qualified as a naturopath, herbalist, hypnotherapist, yoga and meditation teacher.
In 1983 Petrea was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia and was not expected to live. Meditation and the integration of past traumatic experiences became paramount in her recovery, much of which was spent in a monastery near Assisi in Italy.
Since then, Petrea has counselled individually or through residential programs more than 60,000 people living with life-challenging illnesses, grief, loss, trauma and tragedy. Petrea sees crisis as a catalyst for spiritual growth and understanding and as an opportunity for healing and peace.
Petrea has received the Advance Australia Award and the Centenary Medal for her contribution to the community. She has been nominated for Australian of the Year in each year since 2004.
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