Angel on Earth

Angel David

I recently attended a 30 day gratitude challenge workshop with Toni Powell which was absolutely wonderful and inspiring. Many lights have switched on for me from that great day and the most exciting of all is in regard to my partner in life, David.

Toni was talking about the “opposite of gratitude” which turned out to be “complaint”. I am embarrassed to admit that it had never occurred to me before just how much and how often I complain about my husband and how much damage this probably does to our relationship.

I did it with my children, my friends, my colleagues, his friends, his colleagues, in my own head and basically anywhere and to anyone in my life. I would say “David is a good person… BUT…” and would go on to list all his failings.

Toni asked us to examine “why do you complain about this”? I realised that I complained about all the areas in which I think David ‘should’ have met my needs and I perceived that he did not. And there were many, many of these …

As a result of this insight, I have done some serious assessment about this issue and I have made 2 deep commitments to myself. They are:

1. To never, ever bad mouth or bad think about my husband again
2. To take full responsibility for my own needs

Lastly I would like to say that my husband, David, is an absolute angel on earth. He loves me and would do almost anything for me. He is an intellectual giant and no wonder he is referred to as ‘the oracle’ by his friends. He is my mate for life and I feel so grateful that I get to share my life with such a good man who I love very deeply. Thank you David for all you bring to my life…

There are things in life that we need to speak up about and not take lying down and then there are thoughts that become habits and need to be examined and adjusted if we want more peace and joy. Our challenge is to work out the difference.

I hope this gives you pause to think about your complaints and why you feel this way and maybe you could come up with some alternatives to these old habits that no longer work in your best interest. Also I hope you can find compassion and forgiveness for yourself along the way.

It is after all about gratitude rather than complaint (and that includes everyone including yourself).

Much love

Margie

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

Falling in Love with your life!

Do you remember what it was like to fall in love?

Do you remember what it was like to fall in love?

It’s one of the best times in a person’s life.

• You can’t wait until the next time you are with your loved one
• You can spend hours on the phone talking about almost anything
• You experience a new vitality and you have heaps of energy
• You find your new loved one endlessly fascinating – how they do things differently from you, their history, their aspirations, and their quirky habits are all sources of wonderment
• Inhibitions melt away
• Life becomes, engaging, fun and a great adventure
• Your normal preponderance to judge, criticize and complain see to have evaporated into thin air and there is a new sense of tolerance and acceptance that previously had not existed at all
• Life is full of optimism and new possibilities
• You are open to things that previously we would have pulled away from
• In short, life is good and you are happy

So how come life is so good when you’re falling in love, and less so the rest of the time?   What is it that makes the difference?

The key is in your heart, or to put it more precisely, the key is that you are willing to engage in life with your heart open.

Petrea and the other Quest facilitators talk about our Second Nature (“that’s just who I am.” ) and our First Nature – our authentic self, who we really are.    Our Second Nature, the collection of beliefs, assumptions and attitudes we have developed over time as to who we are and how the world is, tends to based in our head.  Whereas the Authentic Self, our First Nature, is based in the Heart.

The Heart is a fascinating organ – so much more than a pump.   It is where who we really are resides… home of our courage, our passion for life, our love, caring and compassion… indeed all those things that we suddenly can access so richly when our hearts open when we fall in love.

Unfortunately, as we go through life it’s quite normal for our Heart to get wounded along the way, and if we are not careful we will close down access to our heart in self-protection – a wise thing to do when we are around people who may take advantage of an open heart.    However, it’s all too easy to keep that door to our hearts locked shut in self-preservation and the cost is missing out on a life full of heart-felt adventures, warmth and connection.

The great challenge therefore as we continue our lives back into our First Self is to learn how to rest back into our hearts, develop a strong and resilient relationship with our heart, so it can still protect itself when it needs to, but so it can also openly embrace life fully when the threats are not present.

That’s what the purpose of The Compassionate Heart program is all about -  learning how to reconnect back to the Heart, how to drop back into it’s warm embrace and to rediscover that when we do judgement drops away, right/wrong dynamics drop away, acceptance re-asserts itself and all of a sudden we have fallen in love with Life again.

The Compassionate Heart Workshop is a Workshop for those wanting more Heart in their lives.   It is facilitated by StJohn and Alexia Miall being held in Sydney starting on Friday 18^th May.   For more information and registrations, go to Hyperlink to Quest Compassionate Heart Webpage.

Healing Your Life

That changed my life – feeling love unconditionally.

When I started work at Quest for Life two years ago Petrea said “It would be good for you to sit in on the program”.   So I did. I remember thinking I will be good for me to ‘see what we do’.   I am a self confessed self-help junkie having listened to endless motivational tapes and cd’s, attending seminars and reading endless bookings for the last twenty years.   I really did not expect to get much out of the program other than to see ‘what we do’.

Boy was I wrong!!!   I started listening; the words were all resonating with me.  That’s when emotionally I erupted; it would seem that there were so many emotional issues I had forced down deep inside and not allowed myself to feel.  Sure I was motivated and obsessed with the success principles but my spirit was emotionally malnourished.   I had been on a two year rollercoaster after my dad passed away and I kept pushing the natural grief process away.  I never gave myself time to get over that, I just made myself busy.

That is all it took, the session on emotions and the permission to feel the way I felt, and the tears started to roll out, which even then I felt guilty and embarrassed for displaying. Somehow I continued to listen, hiding behind a tissue.

We had a tea break and a complete stranger walked up to me and said “I think you need a hug”.  That changed my life – feeling love unconditionally.

I came away from that day with some new values – all about me for a change.   I learnt how bad I was about looking after how I was; I seldom took time to do anything for myself.  I learnt about fluffing myself up and recognised people around me who did this were not selfish!   I learnt about my emotions, experiencing them and allowing them.   I learnt about communication, not only with myself but with others.   I turned a corner that day in relation to my dad’s death. I have new meaning for that now and can speak openly without feeling dark, but instead feel a love a connection with him.

So now when I sit at my desk answering calls from people in very challenging places, I honestly say to them, it is a very loving and nurturing place to move through any challenges.   The participants I have seen on the last day are filled with such a confidence and look of inner peace, it is like they have had an internal makeover. This still gives me Goosebumps when I think of the transformations. I still use all the practical tools I learnt and feel blessed for taking time to ‘see what we do’.

If you are interested in a program, I am on the other end of the phone to answer any questions you may have just phone 1300 941 488.

Suzanne x

Band Practice

Have you ever resisted and persisted with something that was clearly not serving you? Only to find you were neglecting your true talent or purpose?

Our wonderful program co-ordinator Suzanne shares more wisdom.

Through high school from year 7 – 11, I was in the school band.  3^rd clarinet, never any better than that.  To tell the truth – I could not play the clarinet to save my life.  Each band practice if I was called to play – I always suddenly had a broken reed (which is a necessity to play a wood wind instrument).   I did start from scratch with the basics over and over.  My main problem was I could not keep time.  My mind wandered.  I would continually loose my place in the music.   I kept resisting and persisting and grew not to love music.   The day I quit the band was such a relief.

Have you ever resisted and persisted with something that was clearly not serving you? Only to find you were neglecting your true talent or purpose?

I realised after all that time I had a talent but not for music.  Painting was my purpose.  I also later realised that the reason I had ever taken up clarinet was my father he was a huge fan of Benny Goodman (Google it if you do not know who this master was.)  I learnt that you have to find your own purpose and not follow another’s passion.  You need to follow your own dream.

I am content to just admire musicians and enjoy their music now, I will never be Benny Goodman or even the 4^th Dixie Chick as my singing is another story.  I do however make my own music through painting.    The brushstrokes flow, my paintings follow their own rhythm as I live in the moment creating them.   It is always about the journey.

The little things

This has become a symbol of self-care and self-love for me.

One of the best things I have learned from Petrea’s inspiring teaching over the years is about how important the ‘little things’ are.

One thing I have implemented since coming to Quest is to put a bud vase next to my bed and choose a new living flower or piece of greenery every week. This has become a symbol of self-care and self-love for me.

When I look at the flower or leaves that I have placed near my bed, I remember that I am worth loving and that I care enough about myself to complete this task on a regular basis.

When the flower is brown and drooping and the water has gone green, it serves as a reminder that I may be overdoing things and gives me pause to consider where I fit in my own list of priorities which is usually a fair way down…

This little thing has added so much to my life. I would love hear about the little things that sustain you and enhance your life.

Much love for now

Margie

Margie Braunstein

Margie Braunstein

Margie is a somatic psychotherapist and counsellor providing psychotherapy services to the people of the Central Coast and Sydney.  Margie lives on the beautiful Central Coast with her husband, two children, two dogs and a cat.

Over the last 12 years, Margie has also been engaged in the design, delivery and marketing of transformational learning programs. During this time she has regularly facilitated personal development programs for up to 50 people on weekend workshops, week-long intensives and advanced programs of 3-4 months.

Margie has a Graduate Certificate in Adult Education from UTS, Diploma in Psychotherapy from the Australian College of Contemporary Somatic Psychotherapy and qualifications in somatic therapy, executive coaching and relationship counselling.

Margie has a passion for personal development and regards people with respect, empathy and compassion in the belief that while we all do the best we can, a little bit more kindness and care can lead to even greater peace and joy in life.

A Participant Post

Braidy flies high!

Braidy attended a Healing Your Life program at Quest for Life last year and just sent us this lovely email. With her permission, we wanted to share it with you so that you too can feel her joy and celebration:

I just wanted to take the time to write to you and all the amazing people at Quest to let you know how I’m getting along!

It’s been a year since I came in contact with you and I feel like I’m a new person!
What a hard journey it has been!

It’s felt like a roller coaster ride for me – BUT over the last month I have felt like I am finally able to enjoy life again!

My surgeons told me at Christmas time that they don’t want to operate because it’s too risky. So I have now put all my energy into visualisation and self-healing! Its been amazing so far, I feel like it’s already so much better!

I feel like I’m a different person to what I was pre operations, I’m so much stronger (physically and mentally) now. I am slowly gaining more confidence
and reconnecting with my body. I’ve been training 4 times a week down at the beach which is such an accomplishment for me!

To celebrate my happiness at the moment – I went trapezing yesterday, which was such a rush and I’m soo proud that I had the confidence in my body to
do that! (Ive attached a photo for you as proof ha ha).

I know my journey isn’t over yet – and it will be a looooonnnng road ahead, but Ive finally reached that place where I can truly say I am happy again!!!

I definitely could not have gotten this far without such amazing people in my life like you all! You all really came to my rescue when I hit rock bottom, and I mean rock rock bottom! and you were able to support, teach and guide me in the right direction. I can’t tell you how important it was to come to Quest and sit and talk and you would all listen without judgement. You always had a level of understanding that no one else had!

You’re all very special people and I know you touch a lot of other people’s lives, just like mine which is just incredible!
Sooo a HUGE thank you to you all! You are always in my heart and I live strongly not only for me but for all of you as well!

Lots of love to the Quest Family X
Braidy

There will always be washing and washing up!

There will always be washing!

Thank you to our wonderful program co-ordinator Suzanne, for these lovely reflections.

There will always be washing and washing up but living in a moment is but fleeting.
The treadmill of life sometimes sees us missing the everyday wonders.

My sister at a recent family get together said “I always love to see my 5 year old niece.  She is always so happy”.

I thought about that briefly and reacted “she gets it from me” and took it as a compliment for my parenting skills.  The funny part about it was I kept thinking that is furthest from the truth; I simply do not radiate that zest.  With the busyness of this time of the year I was feeling burnt out.

What was it about my daughter that she smiled all the time?  How was she so happy?  I just watched her wondered.  I really could not take credit here.

Stop the world I want to get off!!

After our guests all left I said to my 5 year old – I am so tired.

She said to me “Well why you don’t just take a little rest”.

My immediate thought was I could not possibly, there was dishes from lunch piled high on the sink, the dishwasher was full, there was a stain on the tablecloth from lunch etc, etc, etc.

She had a point – to look after your instant need – that should have been totally obvious to me as there is always going to be washing and washing up.  Sometimes giving up the little things (washing up for now) will mean something bigger to you.   The more I continued to observe her; it really is about taking your time and allowing yourself to breathe.  We all get caught up in it.   Take a moment to notice a smile, to loose yourself in someone else eyes and to enjoy the magic of laughter.

Washing up and washing will always be there. Look after your spirit and it will look after you.